I never wanted to be a maid.
After an [especially] early morning, followed by many nights of interrupted sleep, and being yelled at mercilessly by one very emotional, very ornery daughter I find myself at my desk. Despite the lack of good sleep this week I have been so good-I have kept the house cleaned up, we have had good dinners and I have started each morning with a healthy breakfast and my scriptures after sending the girls off to school. And yet, this morning has left me sitting at my computer, blogging at 8am and eating a delicious cinnamon caramel popcorn concoction (thanks to my new friend Elizabeth...please tell me that its not a secret recipe or I will have to stalk you for the rest of my life...is that white chocolate I am tasting in there?!)
I am feeling frustrated and I want to run away to maybe Paris...does anyone want to go to Paris with me? It was a mistake to ever have gone at all because now I know it's awesome and "I want to go to there". It's more awesome than cleaning up the same mess again today that I cleaned up yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.
Some days, finding the joy in motherhood is hard. No, I take that back. I can almost always find the joy in motherhood. It's finding the joy in "homemaker" that is seemingly more difficult. It's repetitive, and tedious and the results are so fleeting. It also doesn't help that I really am the only one that truly appreciates a well organized and picked up house. I don't think anybody else would even notice it was chaotic...until they ran out of underwear or something. And let's face it, there are more than a couple of family members that probably wouldn't notice that for some time. So I guess it's a good thing I am here. Someone has got to remind them to change their underwear and pick up their clothes so that they have clothes to wear tomorrow. Which brings me back to an original thought that I have been having repeatedly since last night's episode of 30 Rock. Why do I want to be Liz Lemon? What is it that I find so appealing about her, especially since her character is supposed to be mostly pathetic? But I do. And realizing that I want to be Liz Lemon also means that I have to be the "RA". RA's basically get to tell everyone what to do while living somewhere for free, right? But the people don't actually listen to what the RA tells them to do, they just sneak behind her back and do it anyway. Blech, who wants that?
This post really just suddenly got so off topic but pretty consistent with how my brain functions. If I don't find the humor in it then I will just go sit on the couch with Hazel and watch cartoons instead of taking a shower and going to playgroup and then cleaning up the house and getting ready to see it get messy all weekend. And really that doesn't benefit anyone. So I suppose I will just put on my big girl panties and get it done. I can pretend that it doesn't bother me today...but I did that yesterday so I might have to come up with a different strategy today. How about, if I work fast this morning then I will allow myself to sit on the couch this afternoon and finish the book that is taking me far too long to finish. I think I can cope with that...at least until the older girls get home from school and I have to follow through with yesterday/this morning's punishment of afore mentioned ornery daughter...it ain't gonna be pretty but what's a better way to start our weekend?I always wanted to be a Mother.
I never wanted to be the maid.
12 comments:
Ditto, Ditto, Ditto...to all of the above. Except for the Paris and Popcorn part. I'll take some of both, thank you. It's been one of those weeks around these here parts too. But, on a happier note, when do you want to come to dinner? :) Maybe after the holiday weekend??? I'm really glad I don't eat oatmeal for breakfast.
Did you just spit in my Marshmallow Matey's? Because I am all about the healthy breakfasts.
I agree. I was just telling second daughter the other day while she was folding laundry with a scowl and asking why she had to do chores, "If I were a maid, then I would do all these chores with a smile and never ask you to help, because you would be giving me MONEY. But I am not a maid, I am the mom and I do the chores because I love you. And I MAKE you do the chores because I love you. I'm just awesome like that."
I don't know if she got it. But it sure can be a drag sometimes; being Mom and the clean police.
p.s. I will totally go to Paris with you.
I had one morning this week when all of the house work was done. Then it started over again. Good luck with the discipline follow through and thank goodness it's Friday!
"So I suppose I will just put on my big girl panties and get it done."
I think I should print this out, frame it, and remind myself that if Emily can do it, so can I.
This is a thankless job, and it is pretty much impossible to feel important while cleaning pee off the bathroom floor for the 384,000th time. (You have all girls, so you may need to find your own analogy for that one. But I'm sure you know what I mean.) Sometimes it helps when someone I love and trust reminds me of the eternal significance of the menial things I am doing every day. So, assuming you love and trust me, I want to remind you that the boring, menial, mundane, boring, repetitive, unnoticed, seemingly unimportant things that you do all day long ARE important. There have been moments, albeit brief, where I have glimpsed the eternal importance of my daily work, and your's. That, and the love for my kids, keeps me going. I hope you find that inner strength today. And I especially hope you are able to feel some joy in your journey today. I love you, Em.
You said "Big Girl Panties"! I love you Em, I know those days. Blech. Why aren't we neighbors?! :)
High five'n a million angels right now!
Was that whole post a chasimus? Just wondering. I know exactly what you mean. But it does get better...eventually...in a long long time. And it's worth it. Look around at yourself and your brothers and sisters and how great they all are and see that it is all worth is.
PS How about Stockholm instead of Paris. It's awesome here, too!
Amen. Me too.
How poignant to point out that it's the roll of homemaker that we don't always find fulfilling bc it always rubs me the wrong way to have the negativity of the one all heaped onto motherhood.
The keeper of the castle.
And the dungeon.
I love Liz Lemon too and how she dressed up like Leia to avoid jury duty...love her.
I couldn't agree more. I found myself nodding to everything you were saying and laughing. I wonder how long it would take one of my girls to realize she was out of underwear. Scary!!
I've been pondering this: Liz Lemon makes dorky look cool. That is something I'd like to think I could easily slip into.
Post a Comment