Weakness.

 I went into a Container Store today.  By the time I was standing at the register my heart was actually beating a little fast.
I really love that store. 
It is a happy place.

To Whom it may concern...

Dearest children (and husband if needs be),
When I go into the bathroom, for whatever reason, be it a shower, to use the "facilities" or blow my nose, it is not an invitation to come talk to me.  It is not time for me to answer a phone call, break up a fight or get you a drink of juice.  Imagine, if you will, a force field at the bathroom door.  I cannot hear or see you.  I cannot will not attend to you.  In fact, I may just pretend that I am not in there at all.  I will allow you to call my name incessantly for 10 minutes until I hear the panic in your voice that tells me you are afraid I  have left the house without telling you (which I would like to take the time  to point out, I have never done.)  However, when I am in there, you are temporarily on your own.
Love,
Mom

(I swear, next time I need to call my entire family for dinner or prayer, I will just go into the bathroom and they will all materialize out of thin air in 2.3 seconds flat.)


Dear mini Boden catalog that I received in the mail this week,
Go away.  Why do you want to torture me so?  It is not me, it is you.  I just went on your website this morning and filled my basket with everything that I would like in my possesion, I do this just for fun.  The total is $959.00.  Even though that would more than qualify me for your "free backpack with purchase of $150", it hardly seems fair.
Please stop coming to my house unless you are accompanied by Ed McMahon.
Thank you.
Signed,
Not-enough-in-my-bank-account-to-buy-little-girls-clothes-without-restraint


Dear Navy,
You kind of just suck no matter what the job is.  But thanks for the paychecks, we sure do appreciate them.
Sincerely,
Slightly bitter Navy Widow Wife


Dear Mother Nature,
It is hot this week.  Stop the insanity.  We spent a couple of hours at the pool yesterday and my kids are all passed out on the couch today with pillows and blankets.  Couldn't hack the heat.  We have been away from Texas summers for too long.
Also, could you make our new "grass" green again?  That would be terrif.
Affectionately Yours,
Excessively-sweaty person


Dear head of hair,
I hardly think it's fair to be sprouting gray.  I am only 32.
Yours,
Salt 'n Peppa

Which brings me to my next letter,

Dear Mo (aka mother),
Why didn't you warn me that I would start sprouting gray hair at 32 (OK, it really started sprouting at about 30, but it's getting out of hand now.)  You could have given me a head's up.  I mean, I will feel fortunate to age as beautifully as a Green, you all do it well.  Not that you are aging or anything.  All I'm sayin is, I would like to continue to look like you, into that decade that you are in.  And I wouldn't mind your mother's skin at 85 either.  But the gray hair, I could do without.  I have enough to worry about with the receding hairline, upper lip hair and the need to shave my legs, every single day.
Also, I am pretty sure my obsession with Dove chocolates is your fault.  But I'm not really complaining about that one.
Love,
Your favorite daughter


Dear, lovely grocery store,
I know I said that I love you and that you are my favorite grocery store ever.  I also know that I said that for the first time ever, I actually come home happy from this errand.  Eh.  No offense, but as long as I am wishing for $959.00 to spend on little girls' clothes, I might as well wish for a personal grocery shopper too.  But why stop there, I'll just go ahead and take a personal chef, maid and in-house masseuse, and maybe someone to style my hair every day.
I will still treat myself to your sushi and chocolate croissants on occasion though, because if I have to be there anyway, I might as well.
Love,
A girls gotta feed her family

Dear Family from when I sprang,
I know I said that I would load that video slideshow for Spencer's birthday, but I didn't.  And I probably won't.  It is in a format that I would have to change and since I have four children at home with me all day and can only neglect them long enough to blog and check my e mail, I can't.
Love,
#5

Dear everyone else,
I am really sorry that I am kind of flakey.  I have all sorts of fun, good ideas that never happen because of stuff.  I don't mean to not follow through.  I just like to think out loud.  Also, I have a really really bad memory so if I keep asking you the same questions over and over, it's not because I wasn't listening the first time.  I promise.  I like you, I really do.
Love,
what was I saying?


Thank you.
Sincerely,
Emily

Back on track.

Tell me that's not a beautiful picture, I dare you.  There was a time that I didn't care for golf so much.  It wasn't that I didn't care for the game...it was more the time that my husband had a job where he kept his clubs in his trunk because on any given day his boss would "make" him go golfing during the work day and I may or may not have been at home pregnant and taking care of two toddlers.  But I am not so bitter about it now, especially because he doesn't get to do it so often.  And he really loves it.  And I mean, look at those colors! Who wouldn't love a day out on the course playing a quiet, slow, relaxing game on a beautiful day.  Plus, there are golf carts, that is the best part.  I even love that I am married to a man that is ever so slightly concerned with his tan line.
That picture had nothing to do with being back on track, I just made Clark e mail it to me this morning because it was so pretty I had to have it.  Plus, his shoes make me swoon a little.  And those legs in the plaid shorts...don't get me started.  Seeing as how I have to go an entire day without seeing my husband, let's change the subject.

We passed by this movie on the TV the other night and then discussed who owed us money for the movie rights.  Come on, I can be beautiful...or at least get a beautiful actress to play me.

We celebrated Spencer's (aka Pender Pants) birthday a little early since he is going to be in Japan for the rest of the summer.  We watched our traditional birthday slide show of him and 99% of the pictures looked like this.  (Fam, I will load the video on the family blog as soon as I remember, later that is.)

 It was supposed to be a Top Gear themed party.  It kinda was.  The baby of the family is 30.  That is a little frightening.

Back on track.  Summer has finally begun.  I realize that it's already mid July but we have had visitors and such so far.  So this week it's on.  I made a couple of goals last night as I went to bed before midnight (goal #1.)  Goal #2 was to wake up before the girls.  Check.  OK, it was not way before the girls but my eyes were open and I was coherent enough to stop them from going downstairs and turning on the TV before their checklists were done.  We even snuggled for a bit.  AND I was dressed to work out before 9am.  That is half way to the goal.  I can't go work out until I know that some leeway on the lists has been made.  My other goal was to have my scripture study done before getting on the computer to check e mail (and blog.)  Oops.  It's a work in progress my friends.  I want to spend less time in my office so that my kids don't think I am always in here.  That is goal #whatever # I was on.  I feel like I am to a point in my life, one of those flows (as opposed to an ebb) where I can go the distance, do more things for other people, make things cute, enjoy and relax.  Must be time to have a baby.  (That is not an announcement.)  Maybe instead of having a baby I will just get around to finally reading the Harry Potter series now that I have seen all the movies and know that I am OK with how it all ends. 

And just for the side note, here are the checklists that some of you have asked me about.  They are supposed to do these things every day so that they don't get too lazy and their brains don't turn to mush.  They get a "Scharbuck" for each check mark.  They can earn extra Scharbucks for being happy, kind, going the extra mile or for any other reason we see fit.  They can also lose Scharbucks for bickering or disobeying in a timely manner.  Each Monday morning I give them their Scharbucks for the week and they can turn them in at any time for anything out of my treasure chest (which is full of stuff from the dollar store...varying in costliness depending on how awesome the prize is.)

 (Their jars have seen better days.  They used to be cute but now they are tired looking...sorry, just had to justify the lack of "cute" in that picture.)

And so summer will summer on.  I am finally off to the gym and who knows, maybe read a little this afternoon.

Honey nut Kecks...cause that's what we call them.

Hold on to your sun hats.  Picture overload comin' at ya'.

 We hit downtown a couple of times, just to make sure we got everything in that we needed to.

This was our trip to the Natural History.  No trip to the Natural History museum is complete without a butterfly trying to crawl down your throat.

These girls.  We love them.  Megan and I have many, many conversations about these two.  They are great together.  And fiery.  And sweet.  And crazy.  And lovely.

This is the first, but certainly not the last, picture of Hazel asleep on our adventures.

This is in the lawn at the Lincoln Memorial.

 We also did Mount Vernon.  It was very hot.  There was a lot of complaining and reminding the kids that "it's not like they were asked to cross the plains."  That helped.

It was cool.

History is awesome.

We learned some things and saw George Washington's teeth.

 Back at the Lincoln Memorial (obviously my pictures weren't loaded in order.)

This was a trip the kids will never forget because in getting to the Lincoln Memorial we almost killed each and every one of them.  The walk was long.  And very hot.  And at the end of the day.  And very hot.  And very long.  Hopefully they will never forget it.

(Mike and I took a taxi back to the cars...the best $6 I ever spent.)

 More at Mount Vernon.  This is me boasting the fact that I still had a good attitude, mostly.

 We took them to the temple on the last Sunday.  And it was beautiful.  And so was Megan's picture of the temple, see?

 I also get to include beautiful pictures that Megan took and take the opportunity to tell you all how grateful I am for this sister in law.  I love her.  I look up to her and I call her all the time for advice from cooking to child rearing.  We commiserate, celebrate and fill each other's time in the middle of the day with useless information.  But it's not useless.  I love her.  

Also, I appreciate that in addition to taking pictures the whole time of the family and kids and vacay, she also took time to stop and smell the roses, or the architecture, as it were.

 An impromptu picnic on the mall...you know, to feed the kids and all and ensure that their little legs would keep moving.

 When a jumping picture of two adults and nine children just doesn't happen, you go with the running picture.

 The unsuccessful jumping picture of two adults and nine children.

 The very first day they arrived the children took it upon themselves to marry the cousins.  A production that proved to be both extremely funny and highly disturbing.  We were sitting in chairs that had been set up in rows with an aisle.  There was a weeping mother of the bride and everything.

It was funny up until the part where they told them to kiss, then the real parents of the bride and groom may or may not have jumped to their feet and objected vehemently.  After all, this is regular Virginia, not West Virginia.

 The wedding party, minus the sobbing mother of the bride (Julia) who was wearing my 1970's blue chiffon dress from JC Penny.

 My husband and father of four girls.  The most manly man I know.

Hazel sleeping again.  It won't be the last.

 We visited Great Falls one day. 

 Very impressive.

However, the posters all over? I could've done without.

 Jenny being a regular, adorable deer hanging out in the glen.

 Abby being a deer in the headlights on a twisty, scary road.

 Fourth of July.

The fourth of July turkey and munster sandwich on my knee with the most perfect view of the downtown fireworks ever.  We didn't even have traffic on the way home AND there was no one within 20 feet of us all afternoon and evening (with fresh, clean porta potties a mere 100 yards away.)  It was the golden spot.  I will not publicly disclose the location so as to preserve it's perfection...however, if you see my privately I will share it with you because we would love even more friends next year. 

 The babes on Fourth of July, just being adorable, as usual.

 We got there by 3pm to secure our spot and it stayed pleasantly empty into the evening.

I somehow failed to get a picture of my lovely cousin and his lovely wife who joined us too.

 Fourth of July perfection.

Glow sticks included.

 We also made sure to hit up the Gallery of Fine Art.  The girls were presented with scavenger hunts at the beginning which kept them enthusiastically engaged for the duration.

 There were a lot of well known pieces on display.

It was delightful.  

(Note to self: next time I hand over a bunch of scavenger hunts to children, do so, using some kind of electronic device and not ball point pens.  Children with ball point pens in an art museum=a small amount of stress.)

 I wish I could say that this was the least of Hazel's worries but the fact of the matter is, she wet her pants about 15 minutes before Spongebob's face melted in her hands...and to her armpits...and down her belly...and legs...and feet...

 Jameson's experience was much more pleasant.

 Miss Jen in front of what my kids affectionately call "the big pencil".

 I promised you there would be more.  She is really and truly asleep.  This is proof of how much Uncle Mike loves Hazel....this is post pants-wetting.  It was mostly dry, we think.

 This was taken moments before these darling girls ignored the sign and started sliding down the stair sides at the Lincoln Memorial.  They were such champs (ie arriving there without melting into a puddle of exhausted little person-ness on Independence Avenue) that I just went ahead and let them.

 Cupcakes because, do we really need a reason?

This day started out awful and rainy so we took the kids to see a movie.  It was all fun and good, though I will tell you at one point Jameson was dancing on the popcorn piles at Megan and my feet....those four buckets of popcorn had to end up somewhere.  Thank goodness for free refills.

 Again, Jameson enjoying the goods and looking adorable while doing so.

 A stoic family indeed.

 Especially that little Patsy.  Isn't he, I mean, she, a dear?

 The Kecks brought one of their favorite Wii games which the adults enjoyed into the evening.  It's a dance game...the adults retired to the couch and did the geriatric version after a few rounds.

 But the kids knew how to rock it.

 And just because we thought that four adults and nine children didn't quite fill the house we decided to take in this large mammal for the weekend.  Their dog sitter fell through at the last minute so Clark jumped at the chance to give the children an extra hairy playmate.  That's "extra hairy", not necessarily an extra, hairy, playmate.

 And so the bulletin board continues to swell.

 But having them up there now means that the trip has come and gone, which makes us weep a little.

Do come again cousins.  We miss you so.

In mourning.

At 5:45 this morning our delightful company departed, leaving us all very sad and just a tad worn out from so much playing. 
I went back to bed. 
My kids watched three hours of cartoons. 
I did put in some laundry this morning but instead of dealing with the emptiness of the house I am going to take all the girls on an outing that is an hour away...Hobby Lobby and Sonic.  I had them at Sonic.  Also, I may or may not smell a little like hairy dog but I will explain that all later when I tell you about my company, our amazing adventures, and why I have a small bear living at our house right now.
But for now, I am going to fill the emptiness with onion rings and a route 66 limeade.
Peace out.

Let the festivities, begin!

A couple of days before school got out I felt like hiding in a closet.  Like a scene from a horror film I would crouch there in a panic while summer crept into the room and towards the closet with a boney,  bloody finger only to throw open the door, find me hiding and devour me whole.
It really wasn't all that bad.  I had my sister in law telling me to "hang in there" by the end of the first day but things are definitely looking up.  We are busy and strapped for time during the school year so I am always a little scared of 24/7 with nothing to keep us occupied, except for the incessant bickering of course.  That can be a great time filler.
I like to give the first week to sleeping in, wearing pajamas all day and snacking at will.  The the end of the first week we had already found our groove and I know I will weep when school starts up again.  That is, until I discover the joy of three kids in all-day school...then I might be able to find a silver lining :)
This summer we have much on the agenda.  We will still sleep in, snack through the day and wear our pajamas much too late into the morning but we will also have Smithsonian day, park day, movie day, library day, museum day, water day and lots of ice cream.  So here's to sleeping in until 8 (or maybe even 9, gasp!), popsicles, wearing ourselves out, enjoying each other's company without the stress of having to be anywhere, and playing with friends!

(sorry I didn't get everyone in the frame of this one...I was instructed to post only the picture where people were ready for the shot and not looking, silly.)

And in another week or two I will have a most entertaining post about our wonderful visitors that we have right now all the way from Houston. 
My kids are in cousin Heaven.  It's a good place to be.

Happy 4th!! One of my very most favorite holidays...we are off to watch our fireworks across the Potomac with DC as the backdrop.  Ring pops, sparklers and glow bracelets.  Sitting on our denim picnic blanket tonight with grapes and turkey and munster sandwiches I will be thinking about 4th of July's from my childhood, on the banks of the Mississippi with the St. Louis arch looming overhead (or maybe we just did that once, but it is so vivid!)  It's the stuff that memories are made of, people.
Happy Happy Summer!