The Scharman Bucket List and a quick jaunt North.

First and foremost, Jonah had his 9 month birthday.  Clark says that's not a thing, but I assured him it is.  It's enough, at least, for me to stop one day a month and take a picture to document how our life is just flying past us and it's all the baby's fault.  There is something about having a baby that makes time haul.

We had one of my most favorite FHE's ever this week.  It was a cold, rainy day so we stoked up a fire and did s'mores inside (an activity, that I have to admit, has been shot down by Clark on more than one occasion...his reasons for not wanting the girls to think it's OK to stick things in and out of a fire in our house, is indeed, a valid one.  But he relented, just this once.)

We roasted s'mores as we chatted about our schedule, sang our song and then got to the acitivity which was making a bucket list of things we want to do before we move.
Consider this my formal announcement:
The Scharmans are taking a job with Chevron in Houston, Texas, starting in May.  Well, Clark starts in May and we will be there just as fast as we can.  I really should go back and fill in all the little details, such as my violent reaction to Clark's suggestion that we tell the girls following a delicious meal out as a family.  You see, all "big" family announcements were made in my family growing up, after a large meal.  I feel slightly traumatized....I wish traumatized to the point that I avoided overly "large" meals but that is not the case.  I just get all panicky when someone says they "have an announcement"  which consequently has also led me to believe that anytime someone says that, the following will either be "Mom's pregnant" or "we're moving".  But back to my first tangent, we are moving and it is a bittersweet announcement.  This will be our most difficult place to leave in all our time in the Navy.  That's a not an insignificant thing to say considering it will be somewhere along the lines of our 12th move, in 13 years.  We wanted to stay here.  We would have been happy to stay here but when it came down to our two offers, one in Houston and one here in Northern Virginia, the right answer was Houston.  We have family there and it is where Clark and I felt confident that we wanted to raise our children.  Also, they have good Mexican food, but I assure you that was further down on the list of reasons to go.  This has been our home and we will miss it dearly.
Back to my original point, the Bucket List.  After explaining what a bucket list is, we let everyone rattle off anything and everything they wanted to do one last time before we left.  Many of them are our favorite places and some are things that we just haven't gotten around to doing yet but don't want to leave without taking advantage.  So here it is.

We don't have a tremendous amount of time left so we will do our best.  In fact, this is a perfect segway into my next topic, "A Trip North" where we scratch a few things off of that bucket list.

But first, let me tell you that it snowed earlier this week, the best one we have had this year.  That's not saying much because it's all been a little pathetic in the snowy winter department but we take what we can get.  PS My kids stink at making snowmen.  It's just a fact.  I suppose they can't be perfect at everything.

Here is another fun little fact: My husband looks great carrying a baby.

This week is Spring Break so Clark got a couple days off of work and we headed up to Pennsylvania.  First stop, Gettysburg.  Clark and I have wanted to go for a long time and can't believe we haven't gone sooner - it's less than 2 hours away, and incredible.
Kids have a way of "expediting" certain activities but we took in as much as we could before the troops got too restless.  The cyclorama is reason enough to go.  Amazing.  Gorgeous. Incredible.

Then we made sure to play for a long time in the gift shop without buying anything...except a commemorative stamp for our passport but I will get to that later.

It is some of the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen.  Couple that with what happened on those hills and you have a mesmerizing view.  It didn't hurt that the sky was unbelievable that day.

We hopped back in the car and headed about an hour east to Hershey, Pennsylvania.  It's still early in the season so the amusement park wasn't open but we were there just long enough to roll down the windows, smell the chocolate in the air, and visit the Chocolate Shop where we rode through a 5 minute tour of how they make chocolate.

 And then we ate some.

Back into the car and we headed towards Philadelphia where we got to the hotel early enough to indulge the girls in their most favorite part of the trip, the hotel pool.

 Jonah's first swim trunks.

I took the opportunity to point out that the stifling humidity of the room where the pool was, is an awful lot like how it feels in Houston :)

The next morning (which came waaaay too early since Jonah was a little pill...after 1am he hardly slept at all.  Amazingly enough the girls all slept through it but finally Clark and I took shifts with him down in the lobby so the other one could sleep for a while) we drove into downtown Philly.
We saw the Liberty Bell.

The family (sans Mom and Jonah) took a little carriage tour through the city.  The limit is 6 people per carriage and seeing as how they considered all 20 pounds of Jonah strapped to my body as a real person, I opted out.  I took a nice long stroll with Jonah in the pack and got him to take a nap while the rest of the fam listened to a woman trying to act like she knew what she was talking about in a carriage being pulled by a miserable creature who should have been put out to pasture years ago.  We tried to pick a healthy looking one, as opposed to the horse in line in front of us that was being fed pizza.

 We had ourselves some authentic philly cheesesteak sandwiches for lunch.

They did not disappoint.

Our final stop was a tour of Independence Hall, another place that Clark and I have desperately wanted to see for some time. The history surrounding the revolutionary war has always been my favorite.  I feel a deep sense of gratitude and compassion for the Founding Fathers.  So it was a spiritual experience to stand in that room and take it in.

By the end of the tour we were all feeling a little weary from our whirlwind jaunt north and still had the drive home ahead of us.  We took one final picture outside while avoiding the lovely not-so-little puddle of barf right in front of the stairs.  See?  Barf, I labeled it for you and everything.

We were inspired by our friends to pick up one of these little gems a couple of weeks ago and figured now was as good a time as any to start a new tradition.  It will be fun to fill it in the coming years with the places we see and visit.

It was only a 3 hour drive home but we were tired and ready to sleep in our beds.  I made sure to be awake as we made the drive around 495, knowing that my favorite view was just around the bend.  It is an amazing view that suddenly appears as you crest a hill.  See?  I told you this place felt like home.  It was sitting in a room at this temple that Clark and I knew for sure what our decision needed to be.  But it was also in this same room that I was moved to tears and could not stop for the place that it has been in our hearts.  This temple and this area is where Clark and I started, in a way.  When we were engaged, just before we were married, he was finishing up school and I moved out to Annapolis to work and be near him.  This is where "we" were, for the first time, together, spending time with one another, getting closer, anticipating the future.  Little did we know that we would be back, 12 years later and 5 kids richer and loving it just the same.

Plagiarism at its best.

My sister articulates things so well.  She wrote a post a few days ago that says, so perfectly, things that I feel and want to say but don't know how.  It is a time of transition in my life.  Transition in A LOT of different things.  I am floating through it, trying to find my footing as I go, finding the new norm while keeping perspective and recognizing the temporary parts of it all.  I read it outloud back to her to help her proofread and it made me cry.  That's not so abnormal.  I am way slushier than I used to be.  But I'm a Mom, the emotions are sometimes so close to the surface, all you have to do it is ask how my day is going.  I thought about even including the adorable pictures of her kids because they are so perfectly suited with her post but I didn't, so you'll have to go look at her blog to check it out.  In the meantime, I will be patient with the week ahead which will reveal the fate of our family for years to come and wake up tomorrow with a resolve to clean the kitchen and finally get the laundry put away.
So here you go, her words, not mine.  But so well said.

Babies don't keep...

I miss blogging. I miss feeling on top of things enough that I can take the time to sit down and write a blog. It is so late right now, but I don't want my quiet time to end. It takes so long to get a quiet moment these days...
I am understanding more than ever what a sacrifice it is to be a mother. I'm in it pretty deep with four. Game on. There's no coffee break (or in my case, a Dr. Pepper break). There's rarely even a lunch break! I don't get to clock out. My wants and needs are so outnumbered it's laughable! Sometimes I wonder if I even have wants and needs outside of my role as Mom. I'm in a phase where much of the person I used to be has been put on a shelf. And it's okay--that person will be there someday when I'm not so needed by my kids. I like to think she'll be fun to dust off and re-discover when I have a whole new perspective and set of skills and experiences under my belt. Maybe my husband will find her kind of interesting and fun too. I'm not bitter at the children for needing. After all, they just innocently arrived in this world--totally vulnerable. And at the end of the day I never regret serving them, whereas I usually regret being selfish. It's an experience I am ultimately grateful for. I know it's making me better...it's just super challenging. (Duh. Challenges make us grow.) It's just hard to figure out my balance with each new phase of learning/growing. Recently I have had some great insights as a mother that I can only attribute to inspiration and answers to my motherly prayers. Actual specific changes that I have made to how I parent are making a difference. My child that used to throw horrific tantrums every day sits and snuggles me on the stairs every morning while he waits for his ride to school. He finds me when he comes home from practice and gives me a hug. This is a miracle to me. I feel a better connection with all of my children and somehow I even feel more patient. My eyes have been opened as to what they need from me right now. They need my love and attention. It sounds so simple, but how often have I become frustrated with a child because they are keeping me from cleaning or doing laundry? How often have I felt like my children are keeping me from doing my job? And then I laugh at myself because THEY ARE MY JOB. The other stuff is extra. In the old object lesson, they are the big rocks--the main priorities in my life--and everything else can fall into place around them. It doesn't all fit unless they come first. I don't ever want my kids to see me choosing to look at a computer screen or a TV or a phone when I could be looking at them. How soon the tables will turn, and if I never chose them, why would they choose me? But as far as housekeeping goes I am drowning, plain and simple. I can't get on top of it, let alone stay on top of it. And it's hard to find the motivation to work on details when the obvious things are so out of control. (The clutter, my GOSH THE CLUTTER!) I mean, it's impossible, right? But knowing that doesn't cure things. In fact, knowing the battle is futile kind of leaves me a little less motivated to even try to conquer the mess most days. As long as there are Legos and itty bitty Play Mobile parts and Polly Pockets and teeny TINY "Littlest Pet Shop" pieces in my home...It feels a little impossible to beat the clutter.
This messy house thing has been on my mind a lot. I've been so ashamed and embarrassed. I used to be so clean. So neat. So tidy. I took such pride in being a neat-freak. It's hard to let it go. People told me I would have to let go a little with each kid. And I have. But I want to fight letting it go. I want to be the exception--the one who can, in fact, do it all. I want to be the mom who has figured out how to get the children to work like little obedient soldiers with their chore charts and their humble, grateful, willing attitudes. I want the well-oiled family machine that doesn't really exist. (Don't we all?) I want to feel like a good parent and live in a clean house. A clean house doesn't seem like an extravagant wish...
And yet, I keep feeling so strongly that my kids matter more than all that. Why can't both matter? Why can't I do it all? I wish I could. I've been trying so hard. Having a clean and tidy home will never NOT matter to me. That is why I'm not giving up. That is why I will continue to strive for that one or two magical days a week where I might consider inviting someone inside...but I won't cry tears over it. Not over the house. I've decided to put that part of me up on that shelf for a while too. Right now I'm busy with other things...


Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.