There are a lot of things in our lives that we have been
taught, but many fewer that we have
learned. Most of these poignant epiphanies in our lives come at a timing undetermined by us. There have been lots of experiences in my life where suddenly a concept or feeling will find it's notch and suddenly change the course of my spirit. It's that same phenomenon that may suddenly cause us to change our direction, to suddenly find that groove or motivation to diet or exercise, to start one good habit, or retire another.
Stay with me here and hopefully I can articulate my train of thought over the past several months.
My epiphany comes two fold. First, I have a small obsession. I
have to
have the house in order before going to bed. And this is why.
I don't want to wake up tomorrow and be staring down the messes of yesterday. It is simply not how I want to start my day. I like a fresh start, clean slate. Now does this mean that my house is spotless every night when I turn in? No, of course not. But I know that my following day will start a lot easier if it is, so most nights, it is well worth that last push of energy and effort.
How true this principle is in all other areas of my life. I feel it much easier in the last couple of years to simply move on, resist pouting and stewing about something.
Just like it is not appropriate to continue to punish kids all day for one thing that they did wrong, we too need to have the appropriate response and leave it where it belongs.
I remember hearing the proverb once that "hating someone is like burning down your own house to catch a rat". When we harbor bad feelings about something, it corrupts your whole self. There is no way around that. I don't know about most of you but i don't have the time or space in my soul to harbor bad feelings...it interferes with your peace of mind, your joy, your gratitude and your relationships with everyone. Don't be bogged down with negative feelings.
I need a good slump sometimes. If we didn't have those down times we most definitely wouldn't be able to distinguish or enjoy the good. Do these times totally suck? Yes, they certainly do...but I am constantly reminded of some priceless advice given to my husband by a wise man before beginning Plebe Summer at the Naval Academy. It is a mantra that I have repeated to myself a million times in the last year...through illnesses, times of separation, emotional battles and physical battles with the kids, a tough day or a stomach ache. "
It will not kill you, and it will end."
And second:
I have thought a lot lately about loss. I have realized more than ever that anything could be taken from us at any moment. It make me more passionate about the here and now...about nurturing things that really count. It invigorates me and makes me grateful to be exactly where I am with my family...simply
with my family in
any location and in
any circumstance.
If you are a blogger, then chances are you have happened upon the story of Christian and Stephanie Nielson. It is everywhere and with good reason. It highlights a family and an individual that has had a positive influence on strangers all over the world. Reading
her blog archives and of her story now through
her sister has awakened that realization in me. An understanding that I have been searching for that came when Heavenly Father felt it was right.
I think of their situation almost daily. I can't seem to get it out of my mind. I recently wrote an email to this family to express my gratitude and to express some of these realizations out loud in hopes that I will not only remember them, but treasure them.
I said,
"Like so many others I am consumed with her attitude.
There is not a day that has gone by since I first read that I do not think on Stephanie and Christian.
I adore my husband a little bit more, I take more opportunities to stop my children mid sentence and tell them how much I love them.
I have more patience and I hug my kids each day knowing of the pain is must be to her than she cannot herself wrap her arms around her own children today (but she will.)
We cherish our fun and simple time spent together.
It is easier to put down my work and spend more time on the floor with them and even find more joy in the daily tasks of being a housewife. I find myself grateful for the health and ability to carry laundry all the way to the basement and the opportunity to cook dinner for my family--things that used to be tedious have now become blessings of service that I am grateful to do for
them. It has finally clicked-there is more joy to motherhood than just bearing children--a concept that I have always
known, but had more difficulty
feeling each day.
This is a true treasure as so many of us find ourselves in recent years, feeling “trapped” and tired by caring for a household.
This is not in the spirit of our gospel teachings and I ached for the ability to feel it.
She has helped us all to find the true joy in motherhood and all that it encompasses. You all have created a new wave of relief and joy in motherhood and serving one another.
Thank you for allowing yours/Stephanie’s story to be shared.
I cannot comprehend the pain that your family must have felt and continues to feel but we are grateful for your willingness to allow us to learn, understand and grow from your experiences. I know that you have touched people’s lives and left an impression that will shape their faith, their love, their hope and their charity."
President Monson in recent General Conference said:
"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—
here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief.
Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead,
find joy in the journey—now.
I am what my wife, Frances, calls a “show-a-holic.” I thoroughly enjoy many musicals, and one of my favorites was written by the American composer Meredith Willson and is entitled
The Music Man. Professor Harold Hill, one of the principal characters in the show, voices a caution that I share with you. Says he, “
You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”
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I don't want to waste any time. My course has changed.
I am somewhat private about my affiliation...but I shouldn't be. I am happy to the core for it every. single. day. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is absolutely irreplaceable in my life.
I have found her in here about a million times in the last two days. I'd like to think that all I had to do was sweetly ask my kids and husband to keep the bathroom doors closed but that's about as likely as them getting the used toilet paper into the toilet and flushing...For the last three weeks she has been crawling in slow motion and suddenly this week she flipped on the turbo boosters. I'll think she is right behind me and then I hear flattened cereal boxes being flung out of the recycling bin by tiny hands.
