She has always sought a place under my arm or by my side and still does. From the time she could walk she has followed me pretty much from room to room. As a toddler she was content to sit and watch me work on a project or play quietly by my side. It posed a bit of a problem when we tried out a preschool co-op when she was four. She hated going. She was just fine and even had fun, as long as we could get past the part where I dropped her off crying and clinging to my arm. She did OK in primary initially and then suddenly she didn't want to go anymore. Then even primary, her safe place at church, surrounded by family and loving friends was hard. She cried every single Sunday when it was time to go to her class, for almost three years.
Starting school was tough - sometimes she would go easily and other times I would sit in the front office with her face tear streaked and full of anguish. It's been really really hard. It's been hard to watch and more and more was getting hard to have patience.
This is not a shy girl. She is silly and outgoing and friendly but it definitely takes her some time to warm up.
Hazel did amazing. She actually interacted with the instructor. And she had a knack for what she was doing. I love nothing more than to go watch Hazel ride. She is poised and confident, a tiny little thing sitting on a giant animal.
She is proud of herself. We are proud of her. I think it has boosted her confidence and assertiveness in all areas. She has been taking piano for a little over a year too and though she was too scared to preform at her first recital, the lessons have been wonderful. She is finding strength in herself and it is helping her to come out of her shell a little.
A few weeks ago she cantered for the first time on the horse. Because she is so small and light, she was bounced all over the place. She lost her stirrups and then the reins and ultimately ended up falling off. She grabbed the neck and kind of slid to the side, landing on her feet and somehow holding the reins in her hand. My adrenaline was pumping and as the instructor rushed over to make sure she was OK, Hazel started laughing. She was crying and laughing, out of fear? Relief? Whatever it was - but she got right back on.
It has taken her a couple of weeks to be willing to try the cantering again (on purpose) but she has since tried it again, first with her instructor riding double and then by herself.
And you know what? She even likes it now.
She is looking forward to doing her first show this Spring. I will be praying so hard that she is able to go ahead with the show and have the confidence and calm to participate. She has such good form, she looks amazing and beautiful up there on the horse.
I love that she has something all her own. Another sister may take lessons at some point but right now it's something that only she gets to do. She has experience and knowledge that no one else in our family has and I think that helps her feel special, and smart. She often gets overlooked because of her seemingly shy nature and that hurts to see. She is easily led around by friends that may be a little more verbose or assertive and it makes me wish that she had the opportunity, more often, to be the leader because she is amazing.
This school year has been tremendous for her because it is the first year that she doesn't have a sister at the same school as her, and no friends or cousins in her class. Without even talking to us first, she signed up and had to try out for a creative writing club and a math club. She made both and loved them. She has straight A's in every subject and loves school and gets excited about learning.
I am proud of her growth. I am grateful for answered prayers, realizing that these answers sometimes take a lot of patience and a lot of time to develop - the answer can't always come all at once like we would like. This process is making her stronger and hopefully will be a life long growth of her character.
We knew she had it in her and we can't wait to see where else it takes her.
