Happy Memorial Day everyone!

 Months of this...will always and forever be worth moments like this.

THANK YOU Clark! 

and THANK YOU to every other man or woman who has ever served this amazing country that we are blessed to live in!!

That goes for the countless friends and acquaintances that we have made over the last 12 years in the Navy - the people who realize that what they do is not just a job that pays the bills, but families and individuals that have a deep seeded patriotism and pride in what they do and what they are a part of.

It has made our lives rich and beautiful in so many ways.

Thank you!

This is per Clark's personal request today.

Enjoy.

I promised...that's the only reason.

Remember this?  I received my DVD and class manual for the course on Physiology and Fitness in the mail yesterday.  I hope I am not breaking any copyright laws for showing it to you...if nothing else, let this be like the trailer for an amazingly informative and interesting series provided by The Learning Company on Physiology and Fitness, a series hosted by Dean Hodgkin (that's my plug!)
Please pay especially close attention to the shifty eyes (where do I look, where do I look?!) and the exceptionally sweaty armpits, keeping in mind that I had not actually been working out for hours but rather took a shower that morning, got dressed and drove my car to the studio.  But I was growing a baby that day, which apparently makes me sweat like a yeti.  Secondly, I am not capable of simply "looking pleasantly content" without smiling like I am for a picture.  Therefore, I have spent most of my life looking angry, or indifferent.  It's not you, it's just my face.  Oh, and the only evidence that I am even pregnant may be the protruding belly button...and sweaty armpits which have already been mentioned excessively (but who am I kidding, I sweat like that all the time and truth be told, my belly button is an outtie too, even when I am not pregnant.  There, all my secrets out in the open.)

It's OK if you laughed a little, or a lot.  I know I won't ever make it big in Hollywood, not without getting belly button reduction surgery anyway.
But it was fun.
I just re-read a comment from the blog back in March where sister Abby mentioned a certain cameo appearance I did in a music video back in NYC in the early 90's.  Oh yes sister Amy, I am going there for all the world to see.  Because no matter how ridiculous (ridiculously COOL) we look, I will always have the excuse that I was only 11.  Keep in mind that this was before the days of my sweating/belly button problems - also before I knew that fast dancing did not include tap dance like moves, or does it?  I may have never learned that lesson.

And no matter what Amy, you will always have the fact that I idolized my older sister with her awesomely permy hair, stellar dance moves and MC Hammer-like pants. 
Rock on.
(disclaimer #1: I don't know how to avoid the youtube video "suggestions" after the video is over...don't click on them because who really knows what they are?)

And since I finally figured out how to load other videos as well, why not the video of Clark doing the worm that was also promised so very long ago...way back in December.  He deserves his moment of glory too, doesn't he?
(Disclaimer #2: My favorite part of this video is at the beginning where he specifies that this video will never be shown to anyone...if you will recall, I did indeed get his permission to post it...also just as a side note, when Haley says that I was crying and I mentioned gagging, it's because I was in first trimester throws of nausea and I had been laughing so hard that I was indeed crying and may or may not have thrown up in my mouth just a little from the overexertion of being entertained so thrillingly.  But it was worth it.  Also, the excessive laughing came from the 15 minutes before this video when he was practicing and trying to figure out how to actually do the worm...that, was hilarious.  Once he actually figured it out, it was more impressive than funny...but still funny.)

Go ahead and admit it, it was worth the wait.

Oh the humanity.

I found it entertainingly non-ironic that I vacuumed up a cobweb and spider off of my cooking aprons today. You see, I I did not cook one single dinner for my family this entire week. True story.

Layin' Low...

You win some.  You lose some.  I am still feeling the aftershock of a shoddy mother's day.  It's a dangerous holiday.  You don't want to expect anything and yet you secretly hope that the day will be filled with adoration from your family that you selflessly serve all year long.  But the truth is, I don't.  I haven't been even close to Caroline Ingalls/June Cleaver material this year.  I not only had to deal with the unfortunate emotions that have just seem to come with the territory of this pregnancy, but I then the guilt of wondering why I even felt entitled to the adoration.  We had a busy weekend.  There was a lot going on and Clark had a big triathlon up in Annapolis that he has been training quite diligently for.  It's not my family's fault...maybe it's a little their fault but I am to blame too.  Because in the dynamics of a household, life is not perfect.  There are ups and downs, smooth sailing and tough winds.  It just stinks a little more when one of those storms happens upon Mother's Day.  I got exactly what I asked for so how can I complain?
Eh, you win some, you lose some.
I am having a difficult time swallowing the fact that it is only Wednesday.
So let's back up to some of the happier moments of the month.  If you will remember, the doctor has been periodically checking up on my low lying placenta.  A condition that would determine whether or not another c-section was in my future.  Last Thursday I had my final ultrasound to determine my fate.  I took the girls out of school and let them come, since they have never gotten to see one before.  I thought it would be fun, and it was.  Haley and Abby, especially, were so excited to see little brother.  The girls all took turns holding my hand and kissing my cheek out of excitement.  Not only had the placenta moved the centimeters necessary, it totally took a hike and is far enough away for me to feel comfortable and confident proceeding with a natural birth.  I was glad for that.  I want to do a medication free birth.  I really want to.  I can't explain why other than I have such a desire to see my body do something amazing.  I am also convinced that my recovery will be much better than it has been in the past.  Wish me luck.  The kidney stone episode gave me confidence but I'm sure it's going to take a heck of a lot more than that to get me to refuse pain relief when it is offered.

This was a 3D image that the radiologist tech took.  I have never had one before.  And even though it looks like he  has one black eye, and he is technically too big to get a good image, it made it more real and I have spent every day since then becoming less afraid of the tiring responsibility and more excited about him being here.

The only problem with no c-section means, the waiting game.  And yet, I feel more patient about that too.  I can wait.  The anticipation is a good anticipation.

Baby's room is ready for a baby.

 The crib is refinished and the sheets are clean.

 

 I love having things set up with a few weeks to spare.  It give me time to wander in there a few times a week and imagine.  Solidify the fact that there is going to be a tiny body in that bed, and in those clothes, with a nice odor of stinky diapers coming from the trash.

 It's plain and simple.

I love this picture that I made my sister, Abby, make for me.  Isn't it the sweetest?  She has talent, as all of my sisters do.

(I can't for the life of me, tell whether it's my camera taking blurry pictures or my worsening eyesight.)

We received a generous gift from his coworkers last week, the swing that I really wanted.  I told Clark that I would not be bringing a baby home without a functioning swing on the premises.

Abby put it together all by herself.  I sat there and handed her the tools and walked through the instructions with her but she did it all by herself.

And it made her happy.

Clark's Triathlon was fun.  We both have a love for Annapolis.  Being there and just relaxing that day before brought back so many memories of the last few months of our engagement when I was living out there working and waiting for Clark to graduate.  It is so beautiful and quaint and I just love it.

We went up on Friday for Clark and our friend Mike to pick up their packets, have dinner and just hang out.  Since Annapolis is relatively close, we slept back at home and headed back early Saturday morning to cheer them on. 

Clark and Mike did great.  It was not an easy Tri to start with but they did well and it is always fun to cheer for one another's accomplishments.

 Kids were supportive.

 But we had a lot of time to kill between seeing them in the transition area so they found ways to keep themselves busy.

Lady bugs were out in swarms.

 And rocks.  Rocks are good too.

 We missed his swim in the inner harbor but got there in time to see him off with his bike.

 And to finish his run.
It doesn't hurt that Clark can rock the bike shorts.  I wasn't even that embarrassed to have the general public see him so scantily clad.

 We love hanging out with the Millers even though they told us that once our baby is born they wouldn't be able to anymore.  10 is just too many.  But they were joking because we totally know how fun it is to hang out with 10 kids, especially in public.

And this was thrown in just for good measure to ensure you all that even though I don't have Spencer here to document it anymore on a regular basis, the kids still sleep crazy.

Stone Philips Jr. makes an appearance and then I met some celebrities.

 I (don't) have really good luck when I am pregnant.  I can't complain because for the most part I have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies and for that I really am truly grateful.  However, I have also been hospitalized at some point during 3 out of the 4 thus far (mysterious pain/first time pregnant induced paranoia, kidney infection and one parasite in Utah in the middle of winter...still scratching my head about that one.)  I would like to draw our minds back to July of 2008 when I had my first encounter with "a stone" just a couple of months after Hazel was born.  (You are so lucky, I linked to two separate posts, just in case you were looking to spend more time on the computer.)  On Thursday night of last week I took Abby to the mall to use a gift card and finish showering her with birthday attention.  We walked, a lot.  When we got home I was hurtin' big time but it was just my feet and general feeling of "oh my gosh I don't like toting around all this extra baggage".  But them my lower back started to hurt.  It got increasingly worse, rather quickly.  I was panicked because I had this kind of back pain twice before, one for the kidney infection and one for the kidney stone...neither experience was what you would call pleasant (unless you count the point at which I received morphine from our doctor friend, all perfectly legal like.)  We called the cuz that just lives down the way and headed out to the hospital - it's not really a proper visit to the ER unless it's after 10pm, keeping in mind of course that Clark and I are usually passed out on the couch by 10 or 10:30.  That makes the story more pathetic because I was already super tired.  The hospital staff was kind and all, but after 3 hours at the hospital including an ultrasound to rule out the possibilities, the official diagnosis was a muscle sprain in my back and I was sent home with instructions to take Tylenol every 4 hours.  My cousin Mike put it lovely when he said that was like getting a band aid for a broken leg.  We got home and Clark promptly dropped off into a deep slumber until I woke him up with my sobbing at 3am.  I was in so much pain I thought I just might die.  I let him fall back asleep while I tried everything to get comfortable with this "back sprain".  I dug through bins to find the maternity support belt thing, I tried to sleep in the chair, I tried an ice pack, a heating pack and finally a bath with water deep enough to relieve pressure from the extra weight pushing on my back (ie big belly.)  I got back into bed finally at about 4.  4:30 rolled around rather painfully and I had the sudden need to visit the facilities where I (stop reading if you think I am disgusting) gave birth to our second son, Stone Philips (son one, of course being born back in 2008 - we called him "Rocky".)  Was it wrong that I wanted to call the resident back at the hospital and tell him that Tylenol wasn't really sufficient and that his diagnosis was SUPER DUPER WRONG?! I didn't, because I am nicer than that.  Plus, at that point I was feeling so incredible (the pain was gone immediately) that I woke Clark up just to tell him that the diagnosis was wrong, I felt amazing, and would he like to meet his peppercorn sized son?  You'd better believe I saved it.  I saved it for a just a day or two to be amazed that my body made something so incredibly wrong.
Conclusion of the story: I do not like having kidney stones.
What I have learned: If I can pass a kidney stone on nothing but Tylenol, perhaps I could do a natural childbirth after all.
Oh my goodness, I am much more long winded than I thought I was.  But not really.  I always knew that I talk too much.

Moving on to more interesting topics.  My biggest fear about the little aforementioned malady is that I was going to miss a conference that I had signed up to attend on Saturday.  Clark was asked to be an escort at an American Mothers event several years ago by a good friend's Mom that was involved in the organization - so I was somewhat familiar with them.  It's a great organization.  I am tempted to get involved myself, you know, with all my spare time and all.  It would be worthwhile.  I was able to attend one day of the conference and I really enjoyed it.  When I saw who the speakers were that day, I couldn't resist.
One, was the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond.  The awesome thing about the conference was one, it was right in downtown DC, a mere 30 minute drive and two, there were only about 150 people there which meant that I got to sit second row and really feel like a part of it.
Ree was hilarious.  She spoke about how she got started and how her blog was really the medium into getting herself out there.  If you don't know who she is, you should.  But be careful, you will gain 30 pounds, just like that.

This picture is when I told her that half of my belly was from her "knock you naked brownies" and the other half was her stuffed mushrooms.  Delicious.  She also may or may not have sung a schizophrenic duet of Endless Love while showing pictures of her basset hound, Charlie.  Very entertaining. (note to self: I do not care for pictures of myself while pregnant.)

Then I got to meet Shawni Pothier whose blog I love to read.  Her parents write my most favorite parenting books ever and she is an inspiration herself.  Also, she is very tall.

After a delicious lunch of crusted tilapia, forbidden rice and creme brulee, we heard from Allison Sweeney of Biggest Loser (and Days of Our Lives, if you're into that kind of thing.)  She spoke about her platform promoting healthy habits and balancing her family and career and then opened it up to questions.  She was very genuine and nice but definitely more "celebrity" like.  She didn't have time to visit much because she was off to an appointment with Michelle Obama for a private tour of the white house.  ooh la la, so important...I had to rush home early to make sure my house didn't smell like urine before the babysitter came.

Since she was so pressed for time they did group shots with her.  The ladies representing the Virginia chapter of American Mothers were kind enough to let me squeeze (and I do mean squeeze) in their picture. (I felt slightly under-dressed...pregnant people cannot be trusted to dress nicely, especially if they think that being comfortable is more important.)

Shawni spoke after lunch about some great ideas that I appreciated greatly.  (She was the 2011 National Young Mother of the Year.)
It was so nice to be able to go and associate with great people.  I met a very nice girl right when I got there and was invited to sit with her and her friends for the entire thing.  It was encouraging and validating to be among a group of women, so different, from such different circumstances that share such a strong conviction for the same ideals. 
I was grateful for the chance to go!

May Day comes again.

I love the 1st of May.  It just seems like a lovely day.  It's Spring, it's beautiful and it just happens to be the birthday of my two favorite Abby's in the world.

The Birthday Abbys in May 2007

Once upon a time we lived near each other and celebrating them both was easy.  Now we just have to do it thousands of miles apart.
We had a special day that started with Dad's presence for the presents.  He is usually long gone by the time we are getting up for school so it was special that he was able to hang around long enough for the singing and gift giving.

I'm so glad she had a "happy birthday hat" to wear.  This girl is easy.  She was in love with everything she got and was just happy happy happy all day.  So she is.  Abby is our happy, easy going girl.

Hazel and I met her for lunch at school and brought her the lunch of choice, breaksticks from the Target food court.  I told you she was easy to please.  (Even though our trip to Target turned into a traumatic experience...see below.)

 Her request for dinner was not on my list of favorites but we indulged in a trip to Olive Garden.  Which turned out horrible and lovely all at once....horrible to find not only a hair in Hazel's food (send it back) but a piece of cinnamon gum still in the wrapper at the bottom of my food - I knew that wasn't basil that I was tasting.  So gross.  So double gross.  But the manager handled it exactly as he should have by comping the entire meal and then giving us a generous gift card so we will actually come back again....maybe we will, for dessert sometime.
We headed home and had a delicious Skor cake and enjoyed the company of Heber and Gentri who joined us for the festivities and obligatory watching of the birthday girl slideshow (that's my favorite part.)

I love celebrating my little people.  It makes me weep with gratitude that I have them, even though my energy and effort is waxing and waning to celebrate them properly this particular year.  It also makes me rather excited that the next birthday to be celebrated will be that of Little Brother.  I'm ready.  With his crib painting finished up and the arrival of his stroller/car seat this morning, I say bring it.  We're ready.

****************************

Traumatic experience. 
I don't want to tarnish Abby's lovely birthday by sharing but I also know that something unusual happened today that scared me to death and made me hug my children a little tighter this morning.  I mentioned we stopped by Target before hitting the school to meet Abby for lunch.  We had some extra time so Hazel and I wandered isles for a little bit picking up odds and ends.  We finished our check out and then were hanging out near the food court to get Abby's special lunch when the first of the emergency team arrived.  They rushed passed where we were standing and shouted out the need for directions to the book section.  Assuming it was a routine emergency response to something like chest pains, we finished what we were doing and made our way outside.  I hurried Hazel into the car so we could make it out of our close parking spot before being trapped in by the firetruck and ambulance that were just pulling into the parking lot.  We made it out just as the firetruck pulled in front  of where we had parked.  I didn't think much of it until we were leaving the school almost an hour later and there was a helicopter hovering above the store.  I thought it was strange but didn't give it much more thought than that.  During piano lessons just a few hours later we swung by the Target again to pick up some shoes for Abby but found that every entrance was blocked off, the store had been closed and there were police cars all over.  We decided to play at the park across the street during the lesson with a friend who was able to tell us that they had found a women, shot in the back of the store earlier that day.  
Later last night I came across a more detailed article that explained that a woman had taken her own life, back in the book section.  I was a little in shock until it hit me like a truck.  Hazel and I had been in the section just across from there not 10 minutes before it happened.  I had overwhelming feelings of sadness for this woman, for her desperation.  But I also felt overwhelmed and scared that someone so mentally anguished was walking around with a gun, so close to where my daughter and I were so casually picking out binkies and onesies.  I feel dumb to have been doing something so cavalier when something so major was happening.  We didn't hear a shot, there was no shouting.  In fact, the Target employee that directed the first police officers casually told another shopper, who stopped to ask her what was going on, that it was nothing and to continue shopping.  If I am feeling so shaken by just being there when it happened, I cannot imagine what the employees that were there helping and blocking the area off, or the woman and her 5 year old daughter who witnessed it, are going through today.  Bless the woman's family and everyone else affected by it.  It is scary, and sad, and sobering.
 I don't think I will be able to go back to the store for a while.