I've taken a giant step back from social media in the last few weeks. I still get on and skim but I have refrained from engaging for several reasons. In the midst of the COVID pandemic new issues and arguments have been eroding away at our society. A black man was killed from an unwarranted and cruel action of a police officer and it sent the country and many parts of the world into a renewed fight for the movement of Black Lives Matter. While it certainly is an issue that needs attention and reform, it has created yet another platform for individuals and groups to attack, belittle, criticize and separate. We were already feeling heavy things surrounding the pandemic and this kicked emotions into high gear. Particularly in the media and social media, people have become so enraged that they are harsh and judgmental of anyone and anything that does not think exactly like they do. I pulled back after just a few days because it was glaringly evident that no matter what you said, it was wrong. Even as I have tried to wade through information on my own to listen and learn, I have found a tremendous amount of competing opinions and facts. I do not envy a younger and less experienced generation that is being expected to navigate these waters. Finding truth or fact feels nearly impossible. And then on the heels of Black Lives Matter there has been a fervor to remove and eradicate all symbols or monuments associated with the "wrong side" of the civil war. And then this week more changes and resolutions surrounding the LGBTQ community. So much information to process and so many angry people. I'm sure Satan is loving the division that is found everywhere.
I know these issues are important, vital to history, change and growth. But social media is not and never has been the mode of change for me. I am sorry to say that even mainstream media is looked at with a very critical eye. We are all so emotionally charged that our emotions can't keep up with the information. Anyone can be convinced of anything right now. I read every single article (about anything) with a critical and even cynical eye because it is so subjective to who the author is and their agenda.
Very simply put, as far as social media is concerned, it is pure entertainment. I do not go there for my news. I do not go there to be "informed". I use social media 100% as entertainment. I go to see friends and family, to feel connected to their lives and families and to be uplifted. I get to CHOOSE that. It has been polluted with opinions and politics. That is sad for me. I know I sound shallow but like I said, it is entertainment, not my source of information. Therefore I have stayed away, I have held my opinions and spent my time learning and growing elsewhere. Did I mention it's an election year? Heaven help us all.
I just hope that this opportunity allows us to teach our kids how to navigate the information that is coming at them. I hope that we can properly and lovingly teach them how to find truth and how to make a difference, with love, compassion and intention.
Because the truth is, amidst the changes in our society and in our own hearts, our lives go on, each and every day. I don't owe social media an explanation of my beliefs or where I am in my understanding. I welcome a conversation with anyone that would like to speak with me but not there and not like that. My home and my family is my life and thats where all of this starts. My kids wake up and we interact. They grow, we do things, we are becoming, each day. So here we are. I don't apologize for that.
Ezra loves to fish. Clark loves to fish. It's a match made in heaven. When the weather is nice, Clark will fish just about every day in the ponds in front of our neighborhood. Usually there are at least one or two kids that will follow him down. Ezra is always game. He calls himself the bass master and is more than capable of casting, reeling in and waiting very patiently in between.
Back at the very beginning of the quarantine I finally got started on a project that I had in mind forever. For someone that spends a lot of time in the laundry room, I have always wanted it to be a pleasant place to be. I remember years ago, painting giant yellow argyle and polka dots in a laundry room to make it happy. My style has evolved just a little and I am so happy with the results. I am learning my way around power tools and lumber and while I still have a long way to go in being totally proficient, it feels nice to figure things out on my own. Clark helped with installation but I built the shelves on my own and that felt nice.
BEFORE:
AFTER:
It feels fresh and clean and modern. I LOVE our home but it still feels a little bit like a blank slate and I am enjoying the opportunities to make it a little more "us".
We are still spending time out at the farm although it is a lot less pleasant as the weather gets warmer. And with so many things to do around our own house I feel less motivated to spend time out there. I want our own home to feel like a haven, as much as escaping to the country.
We love and adore friends we have made along the way. Grandma Robertson loves us and we love her! She and her daughter have been keeping the masses entertained with hilarious videos and mini parodies of being trapped inside during a worldwide pandemic. On this particular day they requested help coloring a yellow brick road. We were only happy to oblige getting out of our own house. Before we knew it costumes came out and my kids participated in their facebook acting debut. It was adorable.
Every once in a while there is an excuse to escape to the country, just me and Clark. It was a perfect evening for a little ride through the fields. The ride home gave us a spectacular sunset and much needed respite from other "stuff". Clark and I have tried to maintain our weekly datenight, although we have not been as consistent as before. Sometimes its just picking up food and sitting in the car to eat and watch a show on one of our phones just to have a few minutes to chat.
The dirt mountain still stands and has provided endless hours of play an exploration. Heaven help us when they finally finish that neighborhood and we have to find new dirt to play in.
School FINALLY ended last week. I feel like we were one of the last districts in the country. Actually I didn't mind too much that it provided us some structure and purpose to our days. This fall could look very different. I anticipate a hybrid of in class instruction and schooling from home still. Lots more growing and stretching on the horizon.
And in the midst of it all poor Abby had to do normal things like get her wisdom teeth out. She was a total trooper. Turns out she is a "happy drunk". She was in such a good mood on the way home but then pretty much crashed for the next four days. When we first got home and got her settled she insisted that the ice packs had to be in tights tied around her face. Luckily I had a pair of red tights headed to Goodwill.
We have enjoyed a couple of outings to the Botanical Gardens. When the kids will oblige an adventure, its a good place to go and wander for as long as they can stand it.
The baking continues, as does the weight gain. I wish I could be one of those people motivated by stress and anxiety to work out. Instead I get tired and eat. That's not entirely true. We have done lots of work and projects but also lots and lots of snacks. We finally tried our hands at macarons. It only took two tries to get a winner. A lot of work but hey, we have time.
On our anniversary I wore my veil around the house all morning, mainly because its the only thing that still fits me from my wedding day. But the girls always have fun trying on my dress and its both fun and scary to see them as a bride.
Mia and Hazel are preparing to bring home two new family members. Following one of Hazel's many (many) presentations about what pets she wants to welcome home, Clark and I conceded to two cockatiels. Since then there have been LOTS and LOTS of jobs done around the house as well as non stop research and preparation to bring them home. They have to be a certain age before we can do that so in the meantime they have been driving out to Virginia Beach to see them every couple of days. I just hope our bird dog doesn't eat them when they get here.
We refreshed fairy gardens for the front porch. I have slowly been getting our things planted in the garden, porch and beds. I love being outside and I love working in our yard. I have to take advantage of as much as I can right now because before we know it, it will be hot and miserable and being outside will make me want to cry.
There's still a lot to do but slow and steady is good. It's strange but for the first time ever I am thinking in long terms, so "long term" that I consider what kind of house I want my grandkids to remember coming to.
Back in March I also built raised beds for a vegetable garden. I did it all by myself and I am pretty darn proud. They are not super fancy but they do the job. The garden is doing awesome right now and I hope to be able to add to it over the years. Like everything, we have plans in phases of what we can afford and what we can do. The dreaming is as fun as the doing. This year we have strawberries, dill, basil, rosemary, lemon thyme, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, butter lettuce, romaine, jalapeno, three kinds of peppers, six varieties of tomatoes, parsley, green onion and cilantro. And our fruit orchard now consists of an apple, two pears, a peach/nectarine, cherry, two more peaches and two plums. I am learning a lot about how to take care of different plants and rather enjoying it.
My family is still doing a Zoom call every Saturday night and I look forward to it all week. Never have we been in better contact with everyone and I love it. I am so grateful for my parents and my siblings and their families. They are unique and smart and I learn so much from them.
So apparently I am playing major catch up because there is so much I haven't covered. As always, lots and not enough time.
The best mothers day gift I ever got was a night and day away at a hotel and spa a few years ago. I think Clark and I both recognize that doing it every year would maybe lose its magic...but I think I could probably handle it being a once a month gig ;)
It was much too short but still very much appreciated. The family grabbed dinner on Friday night from Cheesecake Factory then we all hauled up to my room on the waterfront, ate dinner and then they left. And I jumped on the bed a little and stared out the window at the ocean, and sat in a bed by myself and watched boring shows that I wanted to watch with no to do list and a bag of spa treatments and snacks lovingly packed by Haley. I stayed up as late as I possibly could (which was 1am, lame) and in the morning went for a walk on the beach and then sat in my room in absolute silence watching the clock until it was time to check out. Absolute solitude is a healing balm. I just have to learn to keep my bucket full for a little longer each time. I love and adore my family but time alone heals some of the cracks from the day to day stress of it all.
On a day that I simply couldn't take another moment we packed up and met our friends at Belle Island in Richmond. It was just what I wanted, a hug from someone that I am not related to and an adventure somewhere new. It was beautiful and fun and somewhere I would totally go again.
