Goodbye summer and a few birthdays...

So we had the rest of summer, then there was fall, and now we are enjoying the frigid temperatures of winter.  Just kidding, it was like 70 degrees earlier this week.  This time of year we see the most schizophrenic weather of the east coast - the coastal plains of Virginia can't ever quite make up their mind as to whether they are the northeast or the south.  Sometimes our temps fluctuate a good 30 degrees from night to day.  Today, it's frigid.

But we did do things every once in a while during the summer.  It is a rare day when everyone is home and we can do an activity together.  In fact, having said that I think we may have been missing someone on this hike.  And I use the term "hike" loosely as around here, you're lucky to find a hill that isn't a highway overpass.

I often daydream of other places and times...places we have lived with endless exploring and activities within a short drive, and kids that were small enough to buy into my enthusiasm to get out of the house.

Also, I don't have that much enthusiasm to get out of the house these days.

There aren't a ton of hikes nearby so we usually end up at the lake that has a nice walking path around it.  On this particular day it was hotter than Hades so we sweated a lot and I was on my "A" game of making it fun for the boys to make it all 1.5 miles around the lake.  They have 1/4 mile markers all the way around (they have to hit the top of each one for a "power up") and then they stop at each exercise station for "extra points"...points that had to add up to 100 by the time we made it all the way around.  I can't remember if the points led to anything other than distracted little boys that didn't complain, too much.

We have had a main floor master bedroom in several of our homes over the years.  I have to say, right now at this stage in life, it's not my favorite.  It is right off the family room and kitchen which means it is pretty much international waters, open to the masses, coming and going at will.  "Our" bathroom is "their" bathroom and I regularly find crumbs in my bed from kids that don't get their way with the tv in the family room.  Our carpet is trashed, our bathroom is always a mess with other peoples things, my makeup and hair stuff is communal and there is are piles of discarded things on my dresser.  But the one plus side is that we are far from kid rooms, which means we have easily convinced little boys that coming all the way down the stairs and across the scary dark family room is not worth it when they have so many sisters upstairs...I try to feel bad for the girls when they complain about little boys climbing into their beds in the middle of the night.  Here's a little secret, I don't feel that bad about it.  It's even kind of sweet.

Then we had our annual mess of birthdays, some of which were documented before I broke up with social media.

We have birthdays that start in the spring and trickle through the summer but the end of August/beginning of September is the dump of 4 within two weeks and one more straggler in November.

Haley is 19...one more year to not feel totally freaked out that she is really and truly grown.  I wonder how many years she will still curl up in our laps.  I'm even sitting in the recliner that we bought when she was born.  I have rocked and nursed all six of my babies in this chair.  I think this year will be one to get rid of a lot of things that we just don't have room for anymore, this chair being one of them.  Kids are next ;) 

Unfortunately for Mia I didn't have any other birthday pictures of her on my phone so this is what she gets.  She has been asking for some time to see an orthodontist and since she was next in line, wish granted.  I'm pretty sure we did actual fun birthday things for her like getting nails done and eating some kind of dessert but that was like three whole months ago and how am I supposed to remember everything?

Then Clark had a birthday and we were all tired of cake and ice cream.  He is an easy one to celebrate too.  We like him.  It's weird that I have a crush on someone in their 40's.  But speaking of forgetting things, apparently I didn't take any pictures of my birthday either which happened before Haley's.  It must've been wild because I honestly can't remember what we did.

I will fill in what happened between September and November if anything, later.  Because no one would want to forget celebrating this little guy.  Ezra is the perfect little caboose.  Right now everyone still thinks he is funny and adorable which is nice because someday they will just think he is gross and annoying.  One of my favorite traditions is watching a birthday slideshow.  Some of the kids' videos were pretty old so since I had nothing else to do this year, I did updated slideshows for each and every birthday.  I adore these videos and I am grateful for an excuse to sit and openly weep at how precious and amazing my kids are to me.  Plus, memories and photos are always better when put to happy music.

I am not much of a baker and definitely lack talent in the cake department...plus no one in my family really eats cake much so we usually opt for outside-the-box birthday treats.  But 2020 had me feelings bored and ambitious (mostly bored) so Hazel helped me attempt something special per his request for sharks.  It turned out somewhere between Pinterest and fail.  In any case the sharks were pretty scary looking and there were donuts and Oreos to make up for the cake itself.

Next up, fall? I think?

A New Normal?

There are a lot of people that hate the term "new normal" but really isn't that just what life is?  It's always changing and evolving and becoming something a little different than it was before.  And as it turns out, life can be as busy during a pandemic as it was before, go figure.  Or maybe it's just that I got used to having no obligations at all and now that I have some, I feel stretched...I really loved months of an empty calendar and now things are hopping and moving, albeit a little different than before.  It's been so long now that I really don't remember how things were different before, except that when you go in public everyone is wearing a mask and that feels uncomfortable and certainly strange.  Clark and I also went out to eat last week, like in an actual restaurant to sit and order and eat our food and everything.  It started with having our temperatures taken and then wearing a mask for 30 seconds between the door and our table.  I find myself saying "this is just weird" at least three or four times a day but whatever, I'm over it.  I need to find new things to distract me.  Definitely not social media, it's still a hot mess of opinions and passions that are all over the place.  I generally avoid most of it still. *see previous post ;)  In other news, my Hay Day Farm is thriving...

The birds came home and are doing well.  Luna and Percy have continued to plump up, have started making pleasant bird noises and have not been eaten by the dog.  Seems like a win win for everyone.

We continue to do little projects here and there although things have slowed considerable as we run out of the funds to do things and the weather has reached that oppressively hot state that makes me want to cry, which I can do openly because chances are I am sweating too and you wouldn't even be able to tell.

Clark and the girls built a firepit, a real one where the bottom won't rust out after a few months.  They wrote notes on the bricks and then we sealed it all up good and tight.  And when I say "we" I mean "they" because I sat and watched them do the whole thing.  We have already enjoyed many a s'more over its open flame.

Then we literally had a truckload of mulch and soil dropped on the driveway, an event that both excited me and had me in dread.  You see, last fall I scored us a truckload of mulch that was completely and totally free, annnnnnd took us approximately four months to get rid of.  I was bound and determined that this mulch would not sit on the driveway through the weekend.  By golly we spread that stuff like champs hither and yon.  Our flower beds look beautiful, or at least they did last month before the heat really descended and put us all into a permanent state of wilt and thirst.  Our lawn is downright crispy right now and the neighbors pool feel like bathwater.  The only respite is under a fan, inside and away from the light of day.  Which is unfortunate because we are getting rather bored of being inside.

And then Jonah had a birthday and we did something scandalous and had friends over to help celebrate.  It was nice to hang out with people again, we rather enjoyed it.

And just look at how cute this boy is.  He turned 8, which is a big one for reasons I will get to in a minute.

The vegetable plants in the garden started to produce and now won't stop.  Mainly the tomatoes.  Here is the cycle I go through with tomatoes.  I feel eh about them because they are just kinda eh.  Then I taste a homegrown tomato from the garden and remember how much I love and absolutely adore them.  Then I eat so many that they become eh again...as evidence in the bowl on the counter that eternally displays tomatoes of all colors and sizes.  The yellow pear has been especially fruitful this summer.  Someone needs to tell it to chill out and pace itself just a little.  Our cilantro, parsley, green onions and romaine petered out but the basil and tomatoes are going strong.  We have had a few zucchini and some lovely butternut squash growing.  The cucumbers are struggling to look acceptable to consume and the dill got so crazy I had to show it who's boss.

One of the projects that finally got done was the bridge.  There are ditches between all the houses on the street and since we frequent the neighbors on either side we had to create a more convenient path, so we don't have to walk all the way around the ditch (you know, a whole 50 extra feet.) The ditch on this side is a bit more conducive to a fun bridge so several years ago the girls found a huge pallet that conveniently fit the gap.  But it had become significantly treacherous to cross so it was time to bring in the ocean engineer.  I just happen to have connections.  He drew up the plans and Abby and Hazel executed.

At the beginning of July we had the loveliest visitors.  The Davis' came and brought their adorable baby.  We miss Sadie and Jesse and are sad that we live so far away.  Dawson is just about the cutest thing ever and reminded us about all the things we love about tiny people.  Rocket especially loved helping Dawson eat his meals.  He was very diligent.  I only felt bad that it was so hot and theres this whole pandemic thing going on because we really didn't do much but hang out.  We still had a blast having them here and we did get to the farm and the beach, so thats a plus.

I feel like there are decisions to be made as a parent all day, every day.  Every moment a teaching moment right? My teenagers kind of hate when you make that obvious.  It's really hard sometimes to let them help when you know it can be done faster and better without them.  But I try really hard to recognize those opportunities, especially when the kids are the ones to offer.  Hazel loves to be in the kitchen and cook and I need to let her more often.  On this particular day Jonah was asking to play the computer and I had told him "not until I was finished folding their clothes" so he left the room.  But then he came back just a minute later, recognizing that if I finished faster, he would get to play sooner so he asked if he could help.  It was so sweet and I am glad that I saw the opportunity for him to help and acted on it.  I'm not always on my parenting A game so it's validating to get it right every once in a while.

Now is the part where we do something amazing and meaningful...a little out of order.  But all this happened from mid June to mid July so it's fine, it's fine, it's all fine.

Jonah turned 8 and got to get baptized.  It looked different from the girls but was special and sweet all its own.  I took Jonah out for approximately 23 minutes to take pictures because we were sweating so bad I as drenched.  Also he is cute and handsome and it was easy to get some good ones.

Grandma and Grandpa came into town the day after Sadie and Jesse left.  It would've been fun to have them here at the same time but someone had to watch the dog in Texas ;)

The baptism was small, only our family, Grandma and Grandpa, a member of the bishopric and a friend that helped fill the font and set up.  The most special things were that more were able to join by Zoom than would've otherwise been able to be there for it, two of his sisters gave the talks and the other two sisters got to be witnesses for the ordinance.  It was small and sweet and beautiful.

Grandma made the cake and Hazel helped with the topper....Jonah requested a cake with a Dad baptizing a son on top.  We aim to please.

Kids are weird.  We eat a lot of Chick Fil A.  And that's that.

This also may be the sign that we SHOULD be trying to get back to church sooner.  I have loved church at home, grateful to have the sacrament and make our home a sacred place buuuuut we have perhaps gotten a little casual in our family room/sacrament meeting attendance.  On this particular day we had to do "church" a little later and everyone was groaning about changing into Sunday clothes so they all went to my closet and outfitted themselves as lazily as possible.  I can't even imagine the struggle of getting dressed for church for real, let alone having to sit with the boys in an actual chapel with other people in attendance.  It's going to be rough.

Still kickin'...some harder than others.

I've taken a giant step back from social media in the last few weeks.  I still get on and skim but I have refrained from engaging for several reasons.  In the midst of the COVID pandemic new issues and arguments have been eroding away at our society.  A black man was killed from an unwarranted and cruel action of a police officer and it sent the country and many parts of the world into a renewed fight for the movement of Black Lives Matter.  While it certainly is an issue that needs attention and reform, it has created yet another platform for individuals and groups to attack, belittle, criticize and separate.  We were already feeling heavy things surrounding the pandemic and this kicked emotions into high gear.  Particularly in the media and social media, people have become so enraged that they are harsh and judgmental of anyone and anything that does not think exactly like they do.  I pulled back after just a few days because it was glaringly evident that no matter what you said, it was wrong.  Even as I have tried to wade through information on my own to listen and learn, I have found a tremendous amount of competing opinions and facts.  I do not envy a younger and less experienced generation that is being expected to navigate these waters.  Finding truth or fact feels nearly impossible.  And then on the heels of Black Lives Matter there has been a fervor to remove and eradicate all symbols or monuments associated with the "wrong side" of the civil war.  And then this week more changes and resolutions surrounding the LGBTQ community.  So much information to process and so many angry people.  I'm sure Satan is loving the division that is found everywhere.  

I know these issues are important, vital to history, change and growth.  But social media is not and never has been the mode of change for me.  I am sorry to say that even mainstream media is looked at with a very critical eye.  We are all so emotionally charged that our emotions can't keep up with the information.  Anyone can be convinced of anything right now.  I read every single article (about anything) with a critical and even cynical eye because it is so subjective to who the author is and their agenda.

Very simply put, as far as social media is concerned, it is pure entertainment.  I do not go there for my news.  I do not go there to be "informed".  I use social media 100% as entertainment.  I go to see friends and family, to feel connected to their lives and families and to be uplifted. I get to CHOOSE that.  It has been polluted with opinions and politics.  That is sad for me.  I know I sound shallow but like I said, it is entertainment, not my source of information.  Therefore I have stayed away, I have held my opinions and spent my time learning and growing elsewhere.  Did I mention it's an election year? Heaven help us all.

I just hope that this opportunity allows us to teach our kids how to navigate the information that is coming at them.  I hope that we can properly and lovingly teach them how to find truth and how to make a difference, with love, compassion and intention.

Because the truth is, amidst the changes in our society and in our own hearts, our lives go on, each and every day.  I don't owe social media an explanation of my beliefs or where I am in my understanding.  I welcome a conversation with anyone that would like to speak with me but not there and not like that.  My home and my family is my life and thats where all of this starts.  My kids wake up and we interact.  They grow, we do things, we are becoming, each day.  So here we are.  I don't apologize for that.

Ezra loves to fish.  Clark loves to fish.  It's a match made in heaven.  When the weather is nice, Clark will fish just about every day in the ponds in front of our neighborhood.  Usually there are at least one or two kids that will follow him down.  Ezra is always game.  He calls himself the bass master and is more than capable of casting, reeling in and waiting very patiently in between.

Back at the very beginning of the quarantine I finally got started on a project that I had in mind forever.  For someone that spends a lot of time in the laundry room, I have always wanted it to be a pleasant place to be.  I remember years ago, painting giant yellow argyle and polka dots in a laundry room to make it happy.  My style has evolved just a little and I am so happy with the results.  I am learning my way around power tools and lumber and while I still have a long way to go in being totally proficient, it feels nice to figure things out on my own.  Clark helped with installation but I built the shelves on my own and that felt nice.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

It feels fresh and clean and modern.  I LOVE our home but it still feels a little bit like a blank slate and I am enjoying the opportunities to make it a little more "us".

We are still spending time out at the farm although it is a lot less pleasant as the weather gets warmer.  And with so many things to do around our own house I feel less motivated to spend time out there.  I want our own home to feel like a haven, as much as escaping to the country.

We love and adore friends we have made along the way.  Grandma Robertson loves us and we love her! She and her daughter have been keeping the masses entertained with hilarious videos and mini parodies of being trapped inside during a worldwide pandemic.  On this particular day they requested help coloring a yellow brick road.  We were only happy to oblige getting out of our own house.  Before we knew it costumes came out and my kids participated in their facebook acting debut.  It was adorable.

 Every once in a while there is an excuse to escape to the country, just me and Clark.  It was a perfect evening for a little ride through the fields.  The ride home gave us a spectacular sunset and much needed respite from other "stuff".  Clark and I have tried to maintain our weekly datenight, although we have not been as consistent as before.  Sometimes its just picking up food and sitting in the car to eat and watch a show on one of our phones just to have a few minutes to chat.

 The dirt mountain still stands and has provided endless hours of play an exploration.  Heaven help us when they finally finish that neighborhood and we have to find new dirt to play in.

 School FINALLY ended last week.  I feel like we were one of the last districts in the country.  Actually I didn't mind too much that it provided us some structure and purpose to our days.  This fall could look very different.  I anticipate a hybrid of in class instruction and schooling from home still.  Lots more growing and stretching on the horizon.

 And in the midst of it all poor Abby had to do normal things like get her wisdom teeth out.  She was a total trooper.  Turns out she is a "happy drunk".  She was in such a good mood on the way home but then pretty much crashed for the next four days.  When we first got home and got her settled she insisted that the ice packs had to be in tights tied around her face.  Luckily I had a pair of red tights headed to Goodwill.

 We have enjoyed a couple of outings to the Botanical Gardens.  When the kids will oblige an adventure, its a good place to go and wander for as long as they can stand it.

 The baking continues, as does the weight gain.  I wish I could be one of those people motivated by stress and anxiety to work out.  Instead I get tired and eat.  That's not entirely true.  We have done lots of work and projects but also lots and lots of snacks.  We finally tried our hands at macarons.  It only took two tries to get a winner.  A lot of work but hey, we have time.

On our anniversary I wore my veil around the house all morning, mainly because its the only thing that still fits me from my wedding day.  But the girls always have fun trying on my dress and its both fun and scary to see them as a bride.

 Mia and Hazel are preparing to bring home two new family members.  Following one of Hazel's many (many) presentations about what pets she wants to welcome home, Clark and I conceded to two cockatiels.  Since then there have been LOTS and LOTS of jobs done around the house as well as non stop research and preparation to bring them home.  They have to be a certain age before we can do that so in the meantime they have been driving out to Virginia Beach to see them every couple of days.  I just hope our bird dog doesn't eat them when they get here.

 We refreshed fairy gardens for the front porch.  I have slowly been getting our things planted in the garden, porch and beds.  I love being outside and I love working in our yard.  I have to take advantage of as much as I can right now because before we know it, it will be hot and miserable and being outside will make me want to cry.

 There's still a lot to do but slow and steady is good.  It's strange but for the first time ever I am thinking in long terms, so "long term" that I consider what kind of house I want my grandkids to remember coming to.

Back in March I also built raised beds for a vegetable garden.  I did it all by myself and I am pretty darn proud.  They are not super fancy but they do the job.  The garden is doing awesome right now and I hope to be able to add to it over the years.  Like everything, we have plans in phases of what we can afford and what we can do.  The dreaming is as fun as the doing.  This year we have strawberries, dill, basil, rosemary, lemon thyme, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, butter lettuce, romaine, jalapeno, three kinds of peppers, six varieties of tomatoes, parsley, green onion and cilantro.  And our fruit orchard now consists of an apple, two pears, a peach/nectarine, cherry, two more peaches and two plums.  I am learning a lot about how to take care of different plants and rather enjoying it.

My family is still doing a Zoom call every Saturday night and I look forward to it all week.  Never have we been in better contact with everyone and I love it.  I am so grateful for my parents and my siblings and their families.  They are unique and smart and I learn so much from them.

So apparently I am playing major catch up because there is so much I haven't covered.  As always, lots and not enough time.

The best mothers day gift I ever got was a night and day away at a hotel and spa a few years ago.  I think Clark and I both recognize that doing it every year would maybe lose its magic...but I think I could probably handle it being a once a month gig ;) 

It was much too short but still very much appreciated.  The family grabbed dinner on Friday night from Cheesecake Factory then we all hauled up to my room on the waterfront, ate dinner and then they left.  And I jumped on the bed a little and stared out the window at the ocean, and sat in a bed by myself and watched boring shows that I wanted to watch with no to do list and a bag of spa treatments and snacks lovingly packed by Haley.  I stayed up as late as I possibly could (which was 1am, lame) and in the morning went for a walk on the beach and then sat in my room in absolute silence watching the clock until it was time to check out.  Absolute solitude is a healing balm.  I just have to learn to keep my bucket full for a little longer each time.  I love and adore my family but time alone heals some of the cracks from the day to day stress of it all.

 On a day that I simply couldn't take another moment we packed up and met our friends at Belle Island in Richmond.  It was just what I wanted, a hug from someone that I am not related to and an adventure somewhere new.  It was beautiful and fun and somewhere I would totally go again.