Evaluating our bubble of personal space.

I am not a touchy feely person.  I am not what you would call, a hugger.  Oh, I will return a hug for sure.  But if I am not related to you, chances are I will never instigate one...unless you happen to be my next door neighbor in Houston when I am meeting you for the first time and I mistakenly think that you are going to give me a hug.  It really should have been more awkward but I was in a good mood.

Being married has changed this some.  My husband is a very affectionate person.  There is no lack of lovin around here...I am totally talking about the G version here.  He has created a family that has a need to be connected at the hip to someone else every moment of the day.  My kids hug their teachers, they hold hands with their friends, they hug each other when getting on and off the bus, the practically sit on top of us when we watch movies.  I'm sure I never say things like "for the love - just stop touching me!" or anything like that...I mean let's face it, with Clark gone periodically I am left to show all of the affection on my own and believe it or not, I only have so much lovin to go around some days.
I heard once that individuals need 10 significant touches a day...That can mean a hug or simply reaching out and squeezing their arm.  Children are a whole other story...they need lots...I try to not be stingy with hugging those little darlings.  They still let me play with their hair, occasionally rub their backs to fall asleep or relax, kiss their faces and squeeze their cheeks.  Not to mention they ALL climb on my lap about 50 times a day for loves.  Even Haley who has to coil those lanky legs up to get all of her on my lap.  They all fit so perfectly in my arms (except when sometimes I really need my space and they get a loving pat on the behind before I tell them "Mom just needs some air, K?"...and speaking of loving swats on the behind, it is impossible for anyone in my immediate family, both the one I live with now and the ones I grew up with, to walk up the stairs behind someone without reaching out and touching them in some way...it has ingrained in me a need to always walk up the stairs with my hands protectively covering my rear end, or take two stairs at a time.)
But the point is everyone needs the physical contact.

Even my youngest who, a few months ago wouldn't let me snuggle her long enough to smell her little baby head, now spontaneously wants a cuddle in the rocking chair, if only for a few minutes before being put down for naps here and there.  A few times a week she simply lets me know when I am lying her down to go to sleep by squeezing my left arm that she is not quite ready.  A few minutes of lovin' in the rocker and she points to her bed, love bucket filled and ready to move on.

It's probably one of the hardest things about Clark leaving from time to time.  I realize that after a few days I am feeling very "unsqueezed".  I miss the hand holding, the hair stroking, back scratching, body enveloping hugs, and kisses of course.   So if I ever spontaneously lay my head on your shoulder or rub my forehead against your arm like a kitten, my husband may be out of town.
(Is my train of thought staccato enough for you?)

So what I am saying is, it is physiologically necessary.  Did you know that if babies don't have physical contact, they die?  Now I am not talking about the "carry your baby every second of every day" method...too much of anything is not good either.  Those babies miss out on other things that they should be experiencing to grow and develop and learn.  We're talking everything in moderation (a concept covering an array of topics that I would obnoxiously like to scream at the top of my lungs in public...or at least passively hand out pamphlets....sorry, another soapbox for another time...)  There was a study done lots and lots of years ago about an orphanage run by nuns (we're talking another century ago) where babies that did not receive sufficient physical contact were failure to thrive for no other reason than a lack of regular, warm, human contact. They actually died. My fellow Family Science majors, do you remember that one? I have never forgotten it. I actually had to go back to my college notes to confirm that one....studies these days, especially those found on the ease of the internet seem to be so far to one side or the other and it is bothersome (refer to soapbox above about "moderation in all things".)

Anyway, I am finished with my opinionated posts and mostly finished with telling you what to do and how to live your lives (I really hate when people do that...oh, again with the soapbox.  I'll leave that one in the suggestion box.)

No, just kidding.  Go hug someone, preferably someone that wants to be hugged.  There is nothing worse than being hugged when you don't want to be touched...OK, maybe there are lots of worse things.  Go get your hugs on, people.

(Please excuse the freaky red eyes on Hazel...I am also occasionally too lazy to edit my pictures...consider it a little Halloween fright from me to you.)

Here is what I love

Heidi Klum

Here is something else that I love
telling people that "this isn't my first rodeo"

Tradition....tradition!! (as sung by the cast of Fiddler on the Roof.)

I was a Family Science major at BYU...along with 45% of the other females attending there (I just made that number up.) The major had it's name changed to "Marriage, Family and Human Development" as if that could convince all of the skeptics out there that it wasn't just a glamorized "Home Ec" major.  But people, really, it's not.  I loved my major.  I loved everything that I learned.  I sucked information from those classes and lectures....I wish I could go back as a wife and mother now to learn it all again with a completely different perspective.  Boy howdy, was it useful stuff. 
Someday I want to get my certification to become a Certified Family Life Educator.  Not counseling.  You could do that too...but I want to educate before they need counseling.  It is what I wanted to do if I had gone to work "in my field." It is not glamorous.  It most likely puts you teaching community classes somewhere on a chilly Wednesday night.  But I want to do it because it is so enlightening.  They teach classes about all sorts of things; about relationships, budgeting, moral development, childhood development, parenting, all the kinds of things that are so helpful and useful and interesting.  That is what I wanted to do.  I used to know a lot of stuff.  Now I just remember that I knew a lot of stuff...and remember just highlights.  It's a good thing I couldn't get rid of my notes.  After college I took all of the notes and papers from my very favorite classes and had them spiral bound.  Over the years I have whittled down that collection but I still have some of them.  And I kept a lot of the books that I just couldn't bear to sell back for 1/4 their price and a snack sized candy bar.  The books are too good, and useful, and pertinent.  I took entire classes on things like the physiological development of the brain and how it functions, how family traditions and working together strengthens family bonds, and probably my favorite, Moral Development (from my favorite teacher ever.)  It's all there, tucked away in my brain somewhere.

So here is what I would like to talk about tonight.  Family traditions.  They are so important.  You could go buy ten books on parenting and I bet they would all talk about it.  It provides structure, dependability, trust, expectations, bonds, regularity, predictability and stability in a family.  It creates memories of togetherness.  Did you know that having family dinner together every night is one of the most cohesive things you can do for your family?  Do you know what it can do for you and for your children? A. Lot.  So do it.  It is worth it.  It is important.
And here is another idea.  It is one of our favorites.  A friend told us about it several years ago and we have done it ever since.  I haven't shared it before because I am protective of it.  It is special to us but I want to share it because it is a good thing.
It's called Rose, Thorn, and Bud.  Every night at dinner we go around the table and everyone has to share three things.  1. Your Rose: something that happened today that you loved.  2. Thorn: something that happened today that you did not like (sometimes they have no thorn, and I love that too.)  3. Bud: something you are looking forward to tomorrow.
And, everyone has to listen.  That is important too.  This is good for so many reasons.  First, it's a tradition.  Second, it means the kids have to think and be retro and introspective.  Third, everyone is listening to them. Fourth, Mom and Dad participate.  They are part of this too.  Fifth, sixth...I could go on.
So do something with your family.  Build bonds.  Make memories.  Create meaningful relationships.  Love each other to pieces.
That is your assignment.

And this is the new segment I like to call Here is what I love (and occasionally, what I don't love.)
Here is what I love:
The vibrant yellow leaves outside my bedroom window.

Honestly, I just can't get enough of this season.

Here's what I do not love:
18 month olds with pencils.

(First I call her by her whole name, then I feel irritated, then I smile inside while I am erasing it with my gummy eraser while she stands next to me and rubs the wall with a balled up piece of toilet paper and a very serious expression on her face...at least it wasn't Sharpie...this time.)

Here is something else I love:
Fake mustaches.

The end is near!!

When I took the girls to the bus stop this morning, I couldn't help but be invigorated by what a gorgeous day it is.  Last week the temperatures dipped and it snowed at our house, twice! Now it is back up in the 60's for a bit and I am loving the blue skies.  So much in fact, that I went for a walk where I even ran too (not easy with a double jogger, but it can be accomplished.)
So, after I ate my toaster strudels (yesterday's impulse buy from the refrigerated section of Target) I had to make a decision....go lie down and watch cartoons with the girls, or go for a jog.  I resisted the whole way until I actually made it outside.

So I exercised. 

The world must be ending.

Just thought I'd give you all a heads up.

Mia-ese and Nacho Sunday

Ba-taco: (n.) Mexican food.

Mia regularly asks for "batacos".  As far as I can decipher, she has combined the words "burrito" and "taco"....thus is born, the "bataco".  This food is not actually a combination of a burrito and taco, just anything Mexican-like in culinary terms.
However, today I have had the overwhelming need to call everything a ba-taco because I love the word so much.  And she uses it in all seriousness.  ie Get your bataco off the table...pick all these batacos off the floor please...I just love you my little bataco.

More batacos anyone?

Now this is the part where I write something of historical significance to my family.
Dear little family of mine,
Remember how we used to do "Nacho Sunday"? Every week after church we would have nachos, or quesadillas, or chips and salsa, or if we are lucky, Dad's killer bean dip.  And usually we all take turns saying, "hey, that's Notch-yo chip!" because it was always funny again and again and again.
It is a fun tradition and I love it. 
Nacho Sunday.

Yankee Doodle went to town riding in a minivan.

Every once in a while I ask my husband to do unreasonable things.  Most of the time he spoils me and goes along with it because he knows deep down inside that I am right...and much happier when I am indulged in my delusional requests.  We took advantage of this three day weekend (actually four for us since the girls had Tuesday off as well) to drive down to Washington DC for family pictures.  This isn't the first time we have driven far away to get our pictures done.  About 3 1/2 years ago we made the lengthy 2 1/2 hour trip from Houston to Austin so my friend Kristen could take our pictures...Needless to say, I am willing to drive to fully take advantage of these people that I love and that also happen to be really talented photographers.  Those pictures that Kristen took have been THE pictures used for nearly everything in the last several years.  My main objective in getting these pictures taken was 1) to have an updated record of what we all look like when we are all mostly happy at the same time and 2) to use in all sorts of books and things for Clark's deployments.  So, it was time again.  Time for an update...afterall, someday I will want to remember that Hazel did indeed become a member of our family somewhere in 2008.
Before I get to the good stuff, aka us immortalized for all of eternity on film, I have to cover the car trip.  Fortunately, we live on the same coast as my brother and lovely sister in law who have recently started their own photography business.  UN-fortunately, this coast is pretty long, and there are several rather large cities between us = traffic.  Nevertheless, it is totally do-able, and since the last time we drove it I was alone with the girls, this time was a breeze.  It should take 6, but typically takes more like 8 or 9 hours.

As we got into the car I took out my notebook and clicked my pen, poised and ready to keep a tally of how many times Mia said "Momma....Dadda..." or asked a question.  When we were 15 minutes into the trip, with approximately 37 "Momma's",  23 "Dadda's" and 26 questions, I gave up.  It wasn't a really fun game after all.  I DID however, get the notebook back out for our drive home so I could keep track of how many bottles of pee were along the road between the last toll booth and the George Washington bridge in NYC.  Apparently, a lot of people lose all bladder control on that portion of the road where there is always a backup of traffic.  Oh and just in case you really wanted to know, they stopped counting after 16.  And since the DVD player in the car fell out of the ceiling a few months ago, we had to make the trip fun by talking to each other and coloring and reading and being nice.  We ate sunflower seeds and chewed Hubba Bubba.  We ate at Chick Fil A three times on this trip because they don't have it in CT and I am pretty sure that I need it to survive.  We even got off the the freeway and ventured into downtown Philly where I ran into a mall and found the food court when we realized it was the last one on our trip North.  I have hoarded and saved every last extra packet of their Honey Roasted BBQ sauce in my kitchen and I won't ever tell you were it is, not ever.  Someday soon Clark may or may not awaken in the middle of the night to find me rocking in bed next to him, slurping it right out of the packet and licking it off of my fingers.  I think I actually slapped his hand when he reached over the other morning and tried to snag one of my hash browns...I apologized and assured him that it was a innate response and I didn't mean to hurt him but I would if he ever tried a stunt like that again, by golly.
We are never there long enough to see everything we want to see and to hang out and play games with them.  It is a good time and Sho and Spencer are good sports to put all six of us up in their adorable one bedroom apartment.  Somehow the girls always fall asleep and we are able to play and laugh and eat delicious Korean chicken in the very same room as them, late into the night.
Sometimes it is hard to come home from a fun visit with people and places that you adore to pieces...but even as we ran into the gas station for a potty emergency a mere 40 minutes from home, I realized how glad I was to be back.  That I love where we live.  That I love the people and the weather, the trees and the seasons. It made me grateful for every place that we have ever lived and all the many things that I have been able to appreciate about them all.  I even love that Connecticut's state song is Yankee Doodle...for real, the one about the pony, feather and the noodle.  Deep inside these seemingly crusty New England exteriors, these people are generous, personable and a little silly (even though I am pretty sure that the state song has meaning and is not actually intended as a joke.)

For some reason, when we visit Spencer and Sho I neglect to fully document everything we do with my own camera.  I figure that he is taking awesome pictures so why even bother? But then I get home and wish that I had taken more.

I have lots and lots of pictures of Hazel running away from us.  This is outside the Smithsonian Museum of Modern Art.

 

This is Abs making her own modern art while playing in the grass.

 

Somehow the kids actually walked the length of the national mall (not the whole thing but a pretty fair amount of it) and we ended up at the beautiful Capital Building.  Sho and Abby were the only family members to be found at this point.  Run up the stairs, run down the stairs, run up the stairs, run down the stairs.  The fun never ends.

 

We played games until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore (aka midnight when my internal clock goes through a power surge and actually shuts off.) They tried their best to keep us awake with rousing games of Starfarers of Catan and Take Two...and root beer floats.

 

The last day we were there we hit Annapolis on our way out of town.  We hadn't been back since Haley and Abby were really little.  It is so fun to walk around the yard and remember those days of young love, exciting engagements and little responsibility.  These rocks are one of the places that we took engagement pictures 10 years ago.

Man, Annapolis is cool.

 

Little sailors in training on T Court.

 

The inside of every building is amazing and beautiful.  It is old and ornate and full of meaningful things.  I love this one so much that I think I might have to embroider it on a few pillows...or fly a banner in my kitchen.

 

And then we played on some of the meaningful things.

Haley brushed up on her Marine Navigation.

And then we came home and I changed my blog banner to my favorite picture taken all weekend.  It was after the absolute last straw, Clark had stripped away the confines of his uniform that I made him wear, each of the girls had successfully completed a mini meltdown of sorts, and then the silly hats started to appear and suddenly the band was back together again for one last great hit.  And it was the best of the bunch.

Stay tuned for more family photos from our weekend in our Nation's Capital!

Forced against my will into non-OCDness.

Sometimes my children make it really difficult to maintain my slightly OCDish lifestyle.  We currently are missing one, ONE, pink high top.  They are new.  And they are for school.  And all of my daughters have them therefore making my slightly Type A personality complete.  ONE shoe.  They don't sell ONE shoe in the store or anywhere on the internet.  I have offered $5 to the lucky finder of 'said' shoe.  That is a lot of Mommy money to shell out for a lost item but the threats that she will go to school shoeless have stopped working, especially because she has a million, OK maybe more like 3, pairs of shoes to choose from (OK actually more than that because for some reason when you have four girls people like to give you hand me downs, not realizing of course that I am kind of snobby and shopping for little girls is fun....I mean, I'll take the clothes, don't get me wrong, but I ain't gonna stop the shopping if I find a steal or something irresistibly cute.)

If you happen to see a lone pink high top, size 12 laying on the side of the road somewhere, would you be a lamb and pick it up for me? I'm out of places to look.

They are finally gone.

I cannot believe that you people doubted my "one bite at a time" policy...really, it was usually just one bite, a big one, or two.  But now, sadly, they are gone.

I just copied this off of my sister's family food blog that she posted a while ago because she even had a nifty picture.

Enjoy.

 

Chocolate Orange Brownies

I got this crazy idea to change one of my favorites, Chocolate Mint Brownies, into Chocolate Orange Brownies. So I just use the same recipe, except for the extract [and food coloring] in the frosting:

Brownies:
2 squares semisweet chocolate
1 cube butter
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup flour, sifted
(or just use a box of brownie mix, like I do :)

Frosting (Middle Layer):
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
4 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon orange OR peppermint extract
2 drops orange [or red and yellow] OR green food coloring

Top Chocolate Layer:
2 squares semisweet chocolate
2 tablespoons butter

To make brownies:
1. Melt 2 squares semisweet chocolate and 1 cube butter together.
2. Combine 2 beaten eggs and 1 cup sugar. Beat until dissolved. Add 1/2 cup sifted flour, then add chocolate butter mixture.
3. Pour into an 8-9 inch pan lined with foil. Bake 25 minutes at 350 degrees, then cool.
(Or like I said, make a boxed brownie mix.)

To make Middle Frosting Layer:
1. Combine 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar and 4 tablespoons butter.
2. Blend in 1 1/2 tablespoons milk, 1 teaspoon orange (or peppermint) extract, and a few drops of food coloring.
3. Spread on top of brownies and chill to set.

To make Top Chocolate Layer:
1. Melt squares of semisweet chocolate and 2 tablespoons butter together.
2. Spread over frosting layer and refrigerate.
*It's a pretty thin layer of chocolate, so make sure frosting is set enough to really spread chocolate on without smudging the two around together. (I've heard of freezing the brownies with the frosting on it and then doing the chocolate layer a quarter at a time--if you care about it looking perfect. I just want to eat it ASAP!)

Don't forget to eat with a big cup of cold milk!

The milk comment was my sisters...I make it a point never to drink the stuff...not since, oh, about 1991.