One of our favorite family activities is taking walks. We live in a great neighborhood for it; beautiful, quiet, always a slight breeze and enough hills to get your heart pumping going up and enjoy a nice cruise on the way down. We walk every Sunday after dinner, and lots of days in between. There are also lots of great places to go walking around where we live. Another favorite spot, besides this one, is Bluff Point State Park in Groton. It's a one and a half mile path along an estuary that empties into the wide, open ocean. With plenty of places to dip your toes in a long the way, and ending at a rocky bluff that looks out into Long Island Sound (OK, not exactly the ocean, but pretty much) near a rocky beach. There is not much in this life that is more delightful to me than walking behind my family on one of these walks. Watching my little girls on their bikes is priceless as well...something so endearing about their disproportionate bodies, those big heads and skinny legs going and going and going.Clark and the girls ran off onto the rocky beach just short of the bluff while I took Hazel on ahead to check out the view from up top. I stood up there and thought for a short while.
Yesterday's walk left me pondering and I came to the conclusion that I feel different about the ocean than I used to. I remember a vacation to the ocean that my family took when I was young. After spending the entire day on the beach I was not only exhausted but so sick to my stomach. I remember lying on the floor most of the night while the family played games--all I saw when I closed my eyes were waves going out and coming in, going out and coming in. The ocean frightened me. It was deep and dark and strong and I didn't like it. It makes me feel vulnerable. Plus, it kinda smells.
I still don't love being out on the water but I am drawn to it now. I'm not a play in the water kind of person. But I could sit and look at it, and be refreshed by it's breeze and soothed by it's noises for hours. Our lovely friends who are very generous with their private piece of beach have a delicious view. When I walk into her house I can't help but stand in her living room and stare out for a while (that is, before I am drawn to actually sit out on her swing or relax in her hammock.) I could even see myself being happy actually living in a house on the beach.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it has provided us with our livelihood for the last nine years. We have lived near it for as long. I would miss not being close to it. It's my husband's home away from home. I still find it slightly frightening. It makes me feel small, and humble. But it also makes me feel quieted, and that is a good thing. It is just so beautiful. And I find the smell to be even nostalgic now, and ever so slightly captivating.

So, in light of my little change of heart I have a special guest appearance on my blog. I decided to make, er, ask Clark sit up here with me and answer some questions before going downstairs for our evening-post-putting-kids-to-bed festivities (which may or may not include ice cream and/or popcorn, a movie or a Wii golf tournament and maybe a little smoochin on the couch.)

Clark, how do you feel about the ocean?
It reminds me of being gone from my family.

How did you feel about the ocean before you were in the Navy?
What do you mean?

I mean, what do you think about when you consider, the ocean?
I have always loved the ocean. I am continually amazed by it's vastness. To me, when I am out there, it borders on infinite. When you are out there you think of the depth, the expanse of water and it just seems infinite. I do think it's beautiful. I've always thought that.

Does it scare you at all?
No.

Would you miss it?
Yes. I would be happy living near the ocean.

What is your favorite thing about Emily?
Her sparkling personality and unparalleled whit and sense of humor.
(OK, that was really me but only because he thought he was being so funny with the long pause and chuckling...)
Then he really said,
You want me to make an ocean simile?
Your awesomeness equals that of the depth of the ocean...without so many crabs. Speaking of crabs, I'm going to go eat ice cream...don't write that...what are you doing? Oh I get it, funny....[Clark exit left to get ice cream].

Everyone's a kidder. But in all seriousness folks, I guess we like the ocean.

Parking space for rent...

Need somewhere to park your double wide? Haley just lost her second top tooth and my oh my. Before losing any teeth she had a pretty good space goin'....not quite 'Madonna big' but enough that we were confident there would be plenty of room for those grown up, Chiclet teeth to come in. She lost the first one when 'hanging' around Grandma's house, literally. Two and a half years ago she was hanging from the chin up bar at Grandma's house and fell--that is where her tooth made contact with cousin Izzy's head. So yes, that tooth has been gone for two and a half years!! It makes deciphering the year for school pictures difficult. We should have had it temporarily replaced with a nice, shiny, silver tooth. In any case, we have come to love her space and I'm afraid that it's been there so long she will look totally foreign to me when something actually grows in there...if something actually grows in there. She used to have people ask if she was missing both front teeth when that was the only one because the space was so big, now, well, see for yourself. You could park not only a double-wide but have room for your big rig too, and maybe a doghouse or a rusted car with no wheels. She has taken to calling her teeth "her fangs" and asked specifically to say family prayer last night so she could use as many THee, THys and THou's as she could. None of her teeth have come out easily, two have been pulled by a dentist and two have come out with blood, sweat and tears. What's a blog post without a little blood? She was freaking out so dramatically that it was all over the sink, counter and mirror. After our little "extraction" the other night, I now have to justify at least four times a day that there is a difference between a parent feeling a need to "trick" you and a parent lying to you. It was hanging by a few threads folks, something had to be done. She had exhausted her own bravery and so I asked to "very gently" wiggle it one more time. I knew the precise angle and force that had to be inflicted, and I knew I had only one shot at it. Ew. I felt tender tooth roots pop from my flick. I sure hope it's a few months before anyone else loses a tooth because they won't trust me for sure. The tooth fairy left her a little envelope with a little note written in font so small you need a magnifying glass. It's a good thing her eyes are better than mine (and that our computer's writing program will let you increase the magnifying of the page.)

Well excuuusse, me.

My blog title for this segment was supposed to be "weMAC, do you?" but instead I feel a need to excuse myself for more lame posts. Our most exciting news for the week is the arrival of a very special new family member.  We decided to finally retire our old computer and turn it out to pasture.  It was a ripe 8 years old...that's like 5,000 million giga, megaplex years old in computer years.  We gave it a lot of thought and decided to switch teams, as it were.  We are now Apple people.  Let me tell you, that is one company that I should have invested in years ago.  They are wicked smart as far as their products and marketing goes.  They have thought of just about everything and though there are many times a day that I yearn for the familiarity of my good-'ole jalopy, I am really excited for our new setup.  We have no more computer wires everywhere, we have sound again (we have been without sound for almost 5 months), the screen is so big I feel like I should be sitting several feet back and if the keyboard were any smaller it would be a blackberry.  But it is shiny and new and fast!! and can do all sorts of new pony tricks and did I mention no wires?  I really do love it, a lot.

However, it also means that I have no bookmarks list in my internet.  So, in order for me to continue reading all of your blogs that I love so much, I need you to comment!!! A simple "yo" would suffice but if you feel so inclined, feel free to include exclamations of adoration or praise, whatever.  I need a link to you because let's face it, with all the other stuff I got going on, it might be another 5,000 million giga megaplex years until I get around to getting the bookmarks off of my old computer.  Thanks, you're a lamb.

The other project that I made mention of is the great switching of the rooms project.  Haley someday will look back and think "gee, my mother must have loved me a lot to give me her office."  And I do, but this project may just be the end of my sanity...scratch that, I lost that 5,000 million giga megaplex years ago.  Her room is nearly done, minus some final decor touches and my room is now the temporary staging area for a couple hundred square feet worth of discarded office...now where did I put those paper clips?  It doesn't help that my bed is too low to put bins under it.   'sigh'

This week will end with everything in it's place (including the laundry) right?

What, no pictures? Here ya go.  A little something for coming back.

Father's Day 2009

(Thanks Darcy for the idea and Kristen for the layout!)

[cue bell ringing]

School is finally out for us in our darling little town. I wish our weather reflected the beginning of summer but we have had rain, rain, and more rain. It's a good thing we don't mind a little moisture...
It's also a good thing that I have been cut off from my internet because it means that I have been able to give my attention to more important things, like all of the end of year festivities of elementary school. I love elementary school. I think it's just as fun to watch my children go through it. I love visiting my children's school, seeing their classrooms, interacting with their teachers (are there any more pleasant people than elementary school teachers and principals that love what they do?) I love that smell when I walk into their school-a kind of tempera paints and sneakers, little kid sweat and chicken nuggets. I love class parties and friends and field days. I am grateful for how my children have grown and changed and developed through the school year...for the things that they have loved, overcome and learned from...for the friends that they have made to the books they have read and the experiences that they have had, all of them. It's what makes my little people tick...it's seeing them in action, out of the grasp of my apron strings. I am proud of them.
So to recap:
Haley had a field day. I stood in their non-air conditioned gymnasium on the one warm day we have had all month (field day moved inside because of the rain.) It was a very stuffy volunteer gig. But Haley makes me smile. And watching her be social makes me smile bigger. And watching her run to her Mom and hug and kiss me and Hazel in front of her friends makes me smile the biggest of all.Abby had Kindergarten graduation. They sang, they wore special t-shirts and she beamed when she saw Haley walk in to watch. Mia picked her a flower. Haley's teacher sent her down because she thought it would be nice for her to be there for her little sister's program, without me even asking or mentioning it.
I am grateful for teachers that are invested in my children, not only in their education but in their emotional and social development. They were loving and caring and we were sad to end the year. I appreciate their input and ideas, their reinforcement and their support. I am especially excited to be living in one place long enough to do two years in a row at one school. Poor Haley has already attended four different elementary schools and she just finished second grade. The teachers and principals know these sisters by name, as well as all of the other kids in the school. Small towns sure have their perks.
We said good-bye to the school year and HELLO to summer! I have been thinking about their summer schedule for some time and I am excited to get started. But first, we are going to sit in our pajamas ALL weekend long, sleep in, not go anywhere and be L-A-Z-Y for a few days.I have taken on the project of bestowing upon Haley her own room...which means I put to rest a much loved office space. But it will be good for her. And it will make her happy. She needs a space that is all her own and I am excited for her to have it. I naturally took before pictures, and if the "after" ever happens, I'll let you know. In all reality the project will have taken less than a week but the sorting through of things makes it seem oh-so-much longer. We're down to needing Clark's brute strength and some finishing touches and we'll be there.

Father's Day now means something a little more delicious, a tradition that I happily started last year...a little delivery all the way from Brenham, Texas. We don't even share it with the kids and our own bowls are rationed by the day (sometimes by the hour, based upon need, of course.) The dry ice that it comes packed in provides us with hours of entertainment as well.

Then one day in between all of that, the sun came out long enough for us to work in the yard, clean out the garage, and play with the leaf blower.After wiping away the laughing tears from the leaf blower situation, Mia spontaneously dove into one of her "explanations" and I was so happy to capture some of it on film. It's all genuine folks. She was explaining to me, in a very emotional and detailed manner, how the roller skates came to be on the porch.
It took a good four minutes. Her hand gestures and facial expressions are phenomenal. I could watch her talk to me all day (consequently, I listen to her all day long, the girl can talk.) My favorite is her squinty eyed, lopsided-mouthed emphasis...I simply adore it to pieces. She adds it for sympathetic emphasis. (She also uses this one regularly when asking for something that she really wants, like a cookie. It typically gets her whatever it is she is asking for, just in case you were wondering.)
I really love this picture because it's what she looks like when she is finished explaining something. I think she is actually tired but very satisfied.

Oh, being back online and purging our activities has provided me with relief.

Now, bring on summer.

HELP ME.

no internet on pc. must blog. all i gots is the internet on the wii. typing one letter at a time with controller, very tedious.
the end.

Going bananas.

This is what I found when I went to retrieve a cucumber today.

I love my kids. However, the monkey was quite upset with Mia all afternoon.

My tired and delusional 3 year old.

I had a conversation with Mia in the car the other day. I love these conversations with my kids...it is when I become privy to the innermost workings of their brains and thought processes. I love it. But Mia was a little on the tired side. It's what I get for taking a two and a half hour nap with her on Sunday and therefore having her up with me until midnight.
The conversation began with her telling me that she wanted to go to Starlight. After several questions and answers I gathered that Starlight is a made up place from some kind of dream that she had where kids get to go play at night...and there is green light.
After repeatedly telling her that it was a pretend place, and her continuing to beg for another ten minutes that she "really really wanted to go" I decided that I had to squash her hopes and expectations for good.
"Mia" (I said, in my firm but loving motherly voice) "We are never going to go to Starlight. Not ever."
She burst into tears which lasted the rest of the way home...fake tears that took more energy to make than she had. I finally asked, "Mia, is crying helping you to feel better?"
"No."
"Then stop."
She stopped. And then asked for gooey fish (aka Swedish fish.)

Happy 3,285 days to us!!

June 1, 2000

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

-Duet by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

xvii
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

So very, very happy.  
Nine years is just a drop in the bucket towards eternity.