A train leaves Chicago going 60 mph...

So while driving with my sister tonight we calculated (through an in-depth word problem) that women generally spend about 6.5 years of their life having their period.
Hm...math really does come in handy.
By the way, for two college graduates who didn't necessarily find math a strong point, it took us way too long to figure that out.
(Call for details on how we actually came to that conclusion.)

We like them...a LOTT

This is my friend Mandee. She has been our friend for a long time and we like her, muy mucho. They have great stories and an awesome sense of humor (it's one of those days where I can't think of a better word than awesome...oh wait, SWEET...no, nevermind, awesome was good.)
Anyway, go enjoy her stories. I hope she takes time to write about her husband's and her life--they've had some amazing and wonderful things happen.
It's like fellowshipping a new member of the church...now lets go welcome her and send her a loaf of bread.
My friend.
We knew Mandee and her husband in Charleston. One of my favorite memories of cute Mandee besides her delicious cooking and impecable decorating and style, she mowed the lawn in a cute outfit with black mules (shoes, not a "mule pulled rig").

The Magic Cornucopia

I've decided (not recently...I've always known) that my life is what you get when you cross a cornucopia (from which blessings flow) and a magician's hat...neverending surprises...that means that my life is and always has been neverending blessings. I attribute this to many things that I will have to thank you all personally for, later.
However, pulling out of the November-is-the-month-of-supreme-grouchiness, I've been inspired by my friend (a bosom-buddy I'm convinced, if we ever met...my sister's sister in law) to list a fraction of the things that I am grateful for in my life.
When I was engaged I made a calendar for my fiance that counted down 109 days until we got married...each day was something that I loved about him (an idea which I ultimately stole from my brother in law--you'll have to read his wife's because he has been seriously slacking...or working, whatever). We should all do this more often. After all, "gratitude unlocks the fullness of life". I'm grateful that this is at least one positive thing that goes through my brain without effort.
I am grateful for (in no particular order)
1. my husband
2. my kids
3. my parents
4. my siblings
5. my friends, far and near
6. my husband's job
7. our home (its clean, and cockroaches aren't the norm)
8. movies
9. potatoes
10. Target
11. our matronly minivan
12. dishwashers
13. deodorant
14. indoor plumbing
15. cheese
16. the computer
17. a college degree
18. ceiling fans
19. flip flops
20. cameras
21. scrapbooks
22. cute scrapbooking supplies
23. thick hair
24. health
25. trash pick-up
26. our country
27...and its leaders
28. swimming pools
29. my hearing
30. antibacterial lotion
31. cute pens and pencils
32. office supplies in general
33. Mrs. Smith's Dutch Crumb Apple Pie
34. Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk
35. pink, little girl things
36. underwear
37. a washing machine
38. my bike with a bell
39. a cool neighborhood with great neighbors
40. babies
41. hugs
42. art
43. sunflower seeds
44. soft grass
45. cold water
46. country roads
47. a big family
48. Steve Irwin
49. and while we're on the subject, TV
50. board games
51. caramel
52. my down pillow and comforter
53. pictures in black and white
54. my childhood
55. grandparents
56. random acts of kindness
57. lavendar
58. humor
59. good eyesight
60. that I can get pregnant and carry a baby
61. creeks and streams
62. Tylenol
63. A&W Root Beer
64. a good grocery store
65. a clean bathroom
66. a sensitve conscience
67. a living prophet
68. and while I'm on that subject, the true gospel
69. creativity
70. a good imagination
71. compassion
72. stars
73. Texas thunder storms
74. a good salad
75. blue
76. paper clips
77. cute kids' clothes
78. fun shoes
79. our digital camera
80. ziploc baggies (all sizes)
81. order
82. intuition
83. double-sided tape
84. flowers
85. history
86. a temple so near
87. taking walks
88. heavy rain
89. decks
90. BBQ
91. getting the mail
92. playing Dr. Mario
93. Christmas lights
94. family vacations
95. sunsets
96. hindsight
97. ice
98. horses
99. floss
100. sleep

I've decided not to blog until I'm not in a bad mood...it may be awhile.

My beef with pork, of the rind variety...

WARNING: Do not read if you have a weak stomach, or if you are hungry, or if you actually like pork rinds...in fact, if you like pork rinds, maybe you and I shouldn't be friends.

Product : Pork rind obtained from sound pig carcasses that have been declared fit

for human consumption by a competent authority.
(actual comments from a website about pork rind manufacturers)

When our oldest daughter was about six months old we moved to Groton, Connecticut for three months. Clark was completing Submarine Officer Advanced Course--a school that prepares new officers for the fleet. Since we only had one, small child we accompanied him and stayed in his living quarters, a big 6 story hotel (converted extended stay) called the Susse Chalet. It was a typical hotel. We lived in this room for three whole months from January to April...it was very bleak and cold outside--but we took advantage of our time in New England and took every opportunity to see Boston, New York, Newport, Providence and Mystic. We really had fun while we were there but missed some of the niceties of living in a home. We took our own comforter, watched a lot of TV, played A LOT of Dr. Mario (we brought our Nintendo and computer), did our laundry in the basement and ate two meals a day out of a dorm sized fridge in our room....thats a lot of PBJ's and bagels. We ate dinner each night at the Mess Hall on the base. We went the same time every night and ate in the officer's room to avoid being stared at by all of the single men in the cafeteria. Dinner was usually a lame salad and some very middle-school-lunchesque meal...but we sat and watched Simpsons while we ate. It was truly an experience. (Even though is was far from even a 1 star restaurant it somehow managed to satisfy my need to eat out regulary, though we ate out in town every opportunity we could manage.) Needless to say, we craved home cooked meals in a real kitchen...for three months.
We jumped at the opportunity to visit a good friend that my husband worked with here in Houston. He is originally from Boston and we love the man...a true Bostonian through and through. He was going to be in town for the weekend and invited us to join him for dinner at his parent's house on Sunday evening. We were so excited...we were starving...
We made the 1 1/2 or 2 hour drive to the Boston suburb, trying to tame our imaginations the entire way there of what scrupmtuous meal was being prepared and laid out for us at his sweet, mother's house...no doubt a grandmotherly type Martha Stewart slaving over her quaint New England gas stove making hearty clam chowder and fresh rolls.
We were warmly greeted by Mr. G (that really is what we call him) and ushered ourselves into the house, our grumbling tummies expecting the heavy aroma of home made something...but alas, it was not so.
His mother, though a very sweet and friendly lady, had leathery old smokers skin and a voice lower than her burly son's. We made idle chit chat while Clark and I wrang our hands waiting in anxst for our meal to be revealed.
Then she brought out the peanuts. We dove into them. And when she brought out the heaping bowl of pork rinds, we devoured the rest of the peanuts. That was it. That was what we drove two hours for in the dark New England night? Our neglected bellies ached for the fill of home cooked goodness and we were offered light, fluffy, pig carcass. I don't want to eat something that at some point had to be inspected to be "declared fit for human consumption". I like to stick to food that is "obviously for human consumption...no questions asked." While obtaining the picture for the top of this post I came across horrid inscriptions that left my head realing and my stomach queesy..."pork cracklings"....huh?....and a link to something called Celiac Sprue Disease...stop, just stop...I suggest sticking to the good hearty crunch of a Dorito or Ruffles with Ridges...but come on, pork cracklings, animal skin, really?
In all fairness, Mr. G did proceed to take us out for amazing Calzones at a little pizza take out place. Truly the best calzone I've ever tasted....but at the price of a bitterly disappointing day. The icing on the "pork rinds", so to speak, was when we were walking out the door she slapped her forehead and apologized profusely that she had forgotten to bring out the salsa...the dear woman...is that why she assumed we didn't touch the deep-fried pig by-product? As my mother would say, "Bless her heart"...and bless our bellies.

Radish and Fried Pork Rind Salad
Whatever you do, please, please...don't forget the salsa.

Poopy Pooperton

My 3 1/2 year old just returned from the bathroom. She didn't even tell me she had to go and she came back screaming that she had two poops! My heart is joyous, nay, swelling with glee. It has taken far too long. We have put to rest many (and I mean MANY) a pair of poopy underwear that I was not willing to clean out. She is on her way folks. All of those prayers containing the words poop and tinckle are starting to pay off. There's no turning back. As far as I'm concerned she can eat suckers until the end of time.
Good girl Abby.

TRICK OR TREAT, SMELL MY FEET, GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT...

So here we are this year, in all our girly glory.

The girls were butterflies (with crowns, because crowns make everything more fun, of course) and Mia was an inebriated chicken who couldn't walk in her costume (last week we took them to the ward activity--the first time I put her down she took one "step" and fell flat on her face, producing one loud thump heard around the parking lot and one large scraped goose egg...er, chicken egg on her forehead).

That's OK, we didn't take her out trick-or-treating. She stayed home and manned, or rather man-handled the candy bowl with Caleb.

There's just something about those little legs..and I wish you could see Haley's underwear hanging inappropriately low out of her leotard...priceless. (And thanks Aunt Abby for the fancy face work.)

Did you know that too much sugar underage produces unbelievable hair growth?..and I can' t do a thing with it.

(Haley Bug towing a line at the ward party)


Hope ya'll had a fun Halloween!..our dentist will remind us of how much fun we had in the coming months.