The world is in quarantine, so what better time to start blogging again?!
In reality I have found myself wanting, no, needing to document what is going on in our lives right now. I sat and wrote a five page journal entry the other day but it was full of some of the nitty gritty, too much gritty for the likes of my blog and a little too good for the normal pace of social media. Like so many others right now, I am finding my time on Instagram and Facebook feels wasteful and not particularly uplifting. There is so much I want to share and record and yet I feel like it doesn't have a place on those platdforms, like it wouldn't be accepted by its peers, so to speak. You see everyone is fully of so many emotions right now, and most social media platforms allow people to share a little too quick, without enough thought to really process or express what they are really feeling or how they truly feel about people and things. I'm afraid that if I posted on there, whcih really is a place inviting feedback, I would be too happy, or too anxious, not upset enough, too crafty, too "pinterest", too boring, or whatever it is that would make someone else feel frustrated or annoyed. But I want to remember what WE are doing, how WE are feeling and just HOW we are doing this time. Too anxious, not anxious enough, too lazy, too organized, whatever.
The truth is we are all of those things. We are feeling a loss of freedom and distruption...especially my kids who love their friends and thrive on social interaction with their peers. And yet I'm finding that its a nice respite from the interactions that sometimes cause a lot of stress and anxieties in them.
I have said for years that the Lord answers the prayers that I don't even know how to ask. For months and probably years I have struggled to find a rhythm that I am truly content with. In all honesty my daydream is living on a ranch in the middle of nowhere with nothing but land, sky, a little hard work and my family (and maybe some chickens, definietly a cow and access to a Target and Amazon delivery...does such a place exist?) But that's not the world that I live in.
The truth is, I want it documented because this is unprecedented, historic. And it might just be a practice run for bigger things in the future. I want to document that we did stuff, that we tried to make it memorable in more good ways than bad. We have great days, productive days, and then some not so good ones. We fight, we get stir crazy, we get creative, we deal with it, we do hard htings, we get better at things that we weren't good at before, we learn patience and tolerance, we are lazy, we take our time, we listen, we exist.
We have watched this virus start in a small epicenter in China and snowball to a global concern. It has been surreal to watch events unfold all over the world. It truly feels like we are living in some kind of apocalyptic movie, a dystopian novel. I keep finding myself in situations that are just so strange, walking down sometimes empty grocery aisles and passing people in masks and gloves, at a distance. The media has done what the media always does, provide a whole lot of information, most of which is made up or sensationalized. Like most things, we have had to be selective and intentional with finding the information that is pertinent, helpful and true. There are a lot of things to scare people. There is a lot of information that just isn't true. One of the hard things about being on social media is that EVERYONE is posting things that they find important and its hard to wade through. Go to the source, that's always the right lesson right?
What I find absolutely most comforting and amazing is how the church has prepared us for this, how the LORD has prepared us....how the gospel of Jesus Christ always strengthens and prepares us. We were introduced to Come Follow Me and emphasized the importance and practice of "Home Centered, Church Supported" gospel learning. Even changes to temple marriage in the past year has prepared us to make adjustments and changes and preparations to be obedient. I am watching missionaries all over the world be sent home or completely restructure how they expected and were trained for missionary service. It was not what they had planned but they are being obedient and having faith that the work will go on. This rising generation will learn to listen to the prophet, follow inspiration, get revelation and be adaptable.
We are two weeks into a quarantine. The first week was strange because there wasn't a lot of direction but Clark and I felt strongly by the end of the first week that we needed to quarantine ourselves from friends and neighbors-one reason being that Haley had just traveled across the country (and someone in her apartment complex had tested positive.) Things have happened and developed rather quickly. The kids went to school as normal on Friday, March 13th but over the weekend the governor of the state of Virginia closed all school statewide for a two week period. I had a feeling that school would be cancelled through the rest of the year and sure enough, before that two weeks was up Virginia had cancelled through the end of the academic year. So far Virginia is the only state to do that which is strange but I have a feeling that many others will follow.
One of the reasons we cut back early on being around people was because Haley had come home from Utah, a tender mercy that we had bought her a plane ticket to surprise her siblings during her Spring Break, something that we never would've done but extenuating circumstances and chance upon a cheap ticket led us to do it. But between the time we had bought the ticket and the time she flew home, everything happened, including UVU moving all of their classes to online. She still had one lab that she had to be there in person for but we had her pack up her entire apartment just in case that changed while she was home. Coincidentally, the day she flew home they moved the lab to online as well and knowing that there was no reason for her to go back to Utah she stayed here. That was hard for her to cut her experience short and come home but we were worried about future travel bans and such. It feels much better to have all of our chicks home in the nest during this. I am grateful for that.
Gosh I feel like there is so much to catch up on, just from the first two weeks. I had spent several weeks watching this unfold from afar and was able to stock up on some basics. I'm grateful that I did because supplies are becoming limited. At this point there are many things in the store that I am limited to 1 per visit and when you have 8 people at home all day, we are going through things quickly. I have been to the store every few days to get milk, juice, bread, eggs, that kind of thing but even those things are hit and miss some days. I have been taking one child with me just to let them get out of the house but I think we might not be able to even do that for a while.
It is tiresome to talk about nothing else when I do see or talk with someone. I have spent time every single day thinking about different periods in history - when WWII was happening was it all everyone talked about? During the depression did friends get tired of thinking about it everyday? I know we still have a lot to be grateful for. We are certainly not in any kind of dire straights yet but I anticipate this circle closing in as we feel a little more pinch on resources, increased discomfort at the isolation and loss of freedom as well as hearing of those we know and love getting the virus.
While we are hearing of the number of people dying is doubling every couple of days, there are many many more that are sick and we just don't know about it because of the lack of test kits. If you are not high risk for complications then you are told to shelter in place and quarantine yourselves. Many states have issued a shelter in place ordinance which is a strict "stay at home" with errands only for food or medical supplies.
Clark is still working, thank goodness. His business supports Department of Defense in many of their jobs so they are still in operation however I suspect that by the end of the week he will be working solely from home as most people already are that are able.
I think that just about gets us caught up to where we are...sitting at home on a Sunday evening, watching Great Muppet Caper and feeling pretty happy about it.
