The most awesomest ever.

(My pride and joy of which this post is about. The fruit of my loins, ladies and gentlemen.)

I had a really funny conversation with my Megan in law the other day.  (We usually think we are pretty funny.) She was quoting a wonderful book about how to raise wonderful children and have a lovely family and all that good stuff.  We were laughing about the Christmas cards that come from time to time, you know the ones I mean.  Now don't get me wrong, I like a good brag every once in a while.  And if Christmas isn't a time of year when we can only highlight the positive, when else is?  I mean, who doesn't like to point out that their kid is smart (which they are) or adorable (which they totally are) or funny (yes, again).  But I decided that this year I was going to go a different route.  Plus, it means that I don't have to sit and think too hard while composing our letter.  In fact, the miracle of the season is, my cards are nearly finished.  Now ask me what my kids are getting for Christmas and I'll answer "nothing at the moment".  But by golly, the cards will be out by Thansgiving.
So instead of preparing for real Christmas, or even Thanksgiving for the matter, tonight I give you "What I'd really like to say in our Christmas letter".

Haley has grown about a foot this year.  She is excellent at getting new teeth but not so good at losing the baby ones first.  She has spent much of the year looking like Nanny McPhee and avoiding any actual wiggling of the teeth (probably an issue of trust dating back to early in the summer when Mom yanked one so hard she bled for an hour, oops.) She adores reading, loves school but doesn't care for math so much (I wonder where she gets that?)  Haley has also learned to tell jokes that are actually funny.  A great relief to us all.
Abigail has finally grown out the mulletish bangs that she gave herself two years ago.  She still hoards like a 90 year old cat woman and has had an unidentifiable odor on her breath for several weeks now.  We are still investigating that one.  Probably her greatest accomplishment is that Abby has finally come to a place where she remembers that she must wear pants when going outside.
Our sweet Mia has probably changed the most.  We are celebrating the fact that she has finally perfected the wipe, flush, wash sequence when using the restroom.  Now if I could just mark her underwear with some distinguishing sign that there is a front and a back...I don't know, something like, a tag maybe.  I'll have to look into that.  Mia has also decided to add Fruity Cheerios to her repertoire of "I will eat without acting like I am going to die" diet.  We are so proud of her.
At 19 months and change, Hazel still takes two naps a day, however she has not committed to a regular bowel movement cycle.  She prefers grunting/screeching/screaming still to actual words, and thanks to Mia's willingness to participate verbally, Hazel may never see a need to use words at all.
Clark and I are fine.  Clark finally threw away all of his old t shirts from high school and I have begun flossing every night for the first time in my life (ssh, don't tell my dentist.) We tell funny jokes (to each other) and we always remember to put on deodorant and wear pants when leaving the house.
Our biggest family news this year of course is that we actually ate things out of our own garden (without dying) and the girls all had a great night at the dinner table one night back in July when none of them got out of their seats during the entire meal.  We even got in a couple of family vacations and still liked each other at the end.
Wishing you all very Happy Holidays!
[Then this is where I would probably put a whole sequence of pictures, because I can never decide on just one, so I would pick all of the very best where they looked the most adorable...but more up to date, naturally.]

 

And while I'm at it, I might as well change my profile picture to something a little more...me.   What do you think?