Evaluating our bubble of personal space.

I am not a touchy feely person.  I am not what you would call, a hugger.  Oh, I will return a hug for sure.  But if I am not related to you, chances are I will never instigate one...unless you happen to be my next door neighbor in Houston when I am meeting you for the first time and I mistakenly think that you are going to give me a hug.  It really should have been more awkward but I was in a good mood.

Being married has changed this some.  My husband is a very affectionate person.  There is no lack of lovin around here...I am totally talking about the G version here.  He has created a family that has a need to be connected at the hip to someone else every moment of the day.  My kids hug their teachers, they hold hands with their friends, they hug each other when getting on and off the bus, the practically sit on top of us when we watch movies.  I'm sure I never say things like "for the love - just stop touching me!" or anything like that...I mean let's face it, with Clark gone periodically I am left to show all of the affection on my own and believe it or not, I only have so much lovin to go around some days.
I heard once that individuals need 10 significant touches a day...That can mean a hug or simply reaching out and squeezing their arm.  Children are a whole other story...they need lots...I try to not be stingy with hugging those little darlings.  They still let me play with their hair, occasionally rub their backs to fall asleep or relax, kiss their faces and squeeze their cheeks.  Not to mention they ALL climb on my lap about 50 times a day for loves.  Even Haley who has to coil those lanky legs up to get all of her on my lap.  They all fit so perfectly in my arms (except when sometimes I really need my space and they get a loving pat on the behind before I tell them "Mom just needs some air, K?"...and speaking of loving swats on the behind, it is impossible for anyone in my immediate family, both the one I live with now and the ones I grew up with, to walk up the stairs behind someone without reaching out and touching them in some way...it has ingrained in me a need to always walk up the stairs with my hands protectively covering my rear end, or take two stairs at a time.)
But the point is everyone needs the physical contact.

Even my youngest who, a few months ago wouldn't let me snuggle her long enough to smell her little baby head, now spontaneously wants a cuddle in the rocking chair, if only for a few minutes before being put down for naps here and there.  A few times a week she simply lets me know when I am lying her down to go to sleep by squeezing my left arm that she is not quite ready.  A few minutes of lovin' in the rocker and she points to her bed, love bucket filled and ready to move on.

It's probably one of the hardest things about Clark leaving from time to time.  I realize that after a few days I am feeling very "unsqueezed".  I miss the hand holding, the hair stroking, back scratching, body enveloping hugs, and kisses of course.   So if I ever spontaneously lay my head on your shoulder or rub my forehead against your arm like a kitten, my husband may be out of town.
(Is my train of thought staccato enough for you?)

So what I am saying is, it is physiologically necessary.  Did you know that if babies don't have physical contact, they die?  Now I am not talking about the "carry your baby every second of every day" method...too much of anything is not good either.  Those babies miss out on other things that they should be experiencing to grow and develop and learn.  We're talking everything in moderation (a concept covering an array of topics that I would obnoxiously like to scream at the top of my lungs in public...or at least passively hand out pamphlets....sorry, another soapbox for another time...)  There was a study done lots and lots of years ago about an orphanage run by nuns (we're talking another century ago) where babies that did not receive sufficient physical contact were failure to thrive for no other reason than a lack of regular, warm, human contact. They actually died. My fellow Family Science majors, do you remember that one? I have never forgotten it. I actually had to go back to my college notes to confirm that one....studies these days, especially those found on the ease of the internet seem to be so far to one side or the other and it is bothersome (refer to soapbox above about "moderation in all things".)

Anyway, I am finished with my opinionated posts and mostly finished with telling you what to do and how to live your lives (I really hate when people do that...oh, again with the soapbox.  I'll leave that one in the suggestion box.)

No, just kidding.  Go hug someone, preferably someone that wants to be hugged.  There is nothing worse than being hugged when you don't want to be touched...OK, maybe there are lots of worse things.  Go get your hugs on, people.

(Please excuse the freaky red eyes on Hazel...I am also occasionally too lazy to edit my pictures...consider it a little Halloween fright from me to you.)

Here is what I love

Heidi Klum

Here is something else that I love
telling people that "this isn't my first rodeo"