Layin' Low...

You win some.  You lose some.  I am still feeling the aftershock of a shoddy mother's day.  It's a dangerous holiday.  You don't want to expect anything and yet you secretly hope that the day will be filled with adoration from your family that you selflessly serve all year long.  But the truth is, I don't.  I haven't been even close to Caroline Ingalls/June Cleaver material this year.  I not only had to deal with the unfortunate emotions that have just seem to come with the territory of this pregnancy, but I then the guilt of wondering why I even felt entitled to the adoration.  We had a busy weekend.  There was a lot going on and Clark had a big triathlon up in Annapolis that he has been training quite diligently for.  It's not my family's fault...maybe it's a little their fault but I am to blame too.  Because in the dynamics of a household, life is not perfect.  There are ups and downs, smooth sailing and tough winds.  It just stinks a little more when one of those storms happens upon Mother's Day.  I got exactly what I asked for so how can I complain?
Eh, you win some, you lose some.
I am having a difficult time swallowing the fact that it is only Wednesday.
So let's back up to some of the happier moments of the month.  If you will remember, the doctor has been periodically checking up on my low lying placenta.  A condition that would determine whether or not another c-section was in my future.  Last Thursday I had my final ultrasound to determine my fate.  I took the girls out of school and let them come, since they have never gotten to see one before.  I thought it would be fun, and it was.  Haley and Abby, especially, were so excited to see little brother.  The girls all took turns holding my hand and kissing my cheek out of excitement.  Not only had the placenta moved the centimeters necessary, it totally took a hike and is far enough away for me to feel comfortable and confident proceeding with a natural birth.  I was glad for that.  I want to do a medication free birth.  I really want to.  I can't explain why other than I have such a desire to see my body do something amazing.  I am also convinced that my recovery will be much better than it has been in the past.  Wish me luck.  The kidney stone episode gave me confidence but I'm sure it's going to take a heck of a lot more than that to get me to refuse pain relief when it is offered.

This was a 3D image that the radiologist tech took.  I have never had one before.  And even though it looks like he  has one black eye, and he is technically too big to get a good image, it made it more real and I have spent every day since then becoming less afraid of the tiring responsibility and more excited about him being here.

The only problem with no c-section means, the waiting game.  And yet, I feel more patient about that too.  I can wait.  The anticipation is a good anticipation.

Baby's room is ready for a baby.

 The crib is refinished and the sheets are clean.

 

 I love having things set up with a few weeks to spare.  It give me time to wander in there a few times a week and imagine.  Solidify the fact that there is going to be a tiny body in that bed, and in those clothes, with a nice odor of stinky diapers coming from the trash.

 It's plain and simple.

I love this picture that I made my sister, Abby, make for me.  Isn't it the sweetest?  She has talent, as all of my sisters do.

(I can't for the life of me, tell whether it's my camera taking blurry pictures or my worsening eyesight.)

We received a generous gift from his coworkers last week, the swing that I really wanted.  I told Clark that I would not be bringing a baby home without a functioning swing on the premises.

Abby put it together all by herself.  I sat there and handed her the tools and walked through the instructions with her but she did it all by herself.

And it made her happy.

Clark's Triathlon was fun.  We both have a love for Annapolis.  Being there and just relaxing that day before brought back so many memories of the last few months of our engagement when I was living out there working and waiting for Clark to graduate.  It is so beautiful and quaint and I just love it.

We went up on Friday for Clark and our friend Mike to pick up their packets, have dinner and just hang out.  Since Annapolis is relatively close, we slept back at home and headed back early Saturday morning to cheer them on. 

Clark and Mike did great.  It was not an easy Tri to start with but they did well and it is always fun to cheer for one another's accomplishments.

 Kids were supportive.

 But we had a lot of time to kill between seeing them in the transition area so they found ways to keep themselves busy.

Lady bugs were out in swarms.

 And rocks.  Rocks are good too.

 We missed his swim in the inner harbor but got there in time to see him off with his bike.

 And to finish his run.
It doesn't hurt that Clark can rock the bike shorts.  I wasn't even that embarrassed to have the general public see him so scantily clad.

 We love hanging out with the Millers even though they told us that once our baby is born they wouldn't be able to anymore.  10 is just too many.  But they were joking because we totally know how fun it is to hang out with 10 kids, especially in public.

And this was thrown in just for good measure to ensure you all that even though I don't have Spencer here to document it anymore on a regular basis, the kids still sleep crazy.