September unplugged.

I don't know about you, but we like our TV around here.  I mean, we don't talk to it (most of the time) and it does not have a place at the dinner table.  But we like TV, and most of the time I don't see much wrong with it.  We watch good shows and try to turn it off before our brains turn so mushy they run out our ears.  But we made a decision last month.  Actually I made a decision and somehow got my family on board (what I mean is, I got Clark on board and we forced the others to "leave the shore", so to speak.)
My reasons for doing this were many.
-I read an article.  I actually read this article years ago as a teenager and have always remembered it, but have shirked actually doing it (because you know, I like TV.)  But I went back and reread it and felt motivated.  It is a talk called Thirty Days, That's All We Ask.
-This was the biggest reason of all: The contention level in our home was out of control.  The lack of patience, the shortness of temper, the volatile emotions, geez.  There were lots of times during the summer where TV watching was the default.  If it was hot, or rainy, or I needed to get stuff done, the TV was on.  I had the impression again and again, "turn off the TV, let your kids interact, give their brains and spirits a chance to heal in calm and quiet."
-The movie/TV show quoting, though I am guilty of it myself, was past appropriate limits.  It felt like shows were all they talked about.
-There was just too much "noise" in our home, audible and otherwise.

So before we began, Clark and I set out our goals.  What did we want to accomplish by doing this?  We had to have a plan and a purpose because we knew that for some of my kids, turning off the TV would like telling them that we were putting their best friend in the whole world into a box and shipping them to China, without snacks.
So here were our goals:
-To be more selective about what we watch...not just separating good from bad, or even good from good, but quality and what is really worth our time and what is a total waste.
-Just like then initial start of a diet, we needed to rid ourselves completely of everything, a detox, a chance to re-sensitize ourselves to the things that have become too "common and accepted" over time.  (not just the obviously inappropriate, but watching shows where the entertainment comes from watching siblings fight, bicker and pick on one another, the way kids talk to adults and how they speak with one another in general.  I kept asking myself, why is this entertainment?)
-To be more sensitive to those things that are not the most uplifting.
-Doing things that actively encourage us to be better people.
-Not just watching things for entertainment sake.
-To spend more time together, interacting and learning the ins and outs of getting along with people.

Just like John Bytheway, I kept a little journal of sorts.  I kept track, along the way, of things that I noticed as we went through the month.  Here is what I found.

Day 2
I noticed how quiet it was in our home.  Not just audible noise, but it was peaceful and calm.  The quiet was louder, if that makes any sense.
I liked it.

Day 6
Day 6 scared me a little because it was the first day of school and the first day out of the month that Clark was gone on business.  By 9am I was freaking out just a little.  What was I going to do all day?  I typically don't watch TV during the day but Hazel does, and it keeps her happy and occupied while I get things done.
When Clark is out of town, the TV is my companion in the evenings.  It's how we always wind down after our day, and it keeps me distracted until I am tired enough to go to bed alone.
But today was a key day because I spent more quality time with Hazel and more time directing her to entertaining herself.
When the girls got home from school, I found myself engaging them in activities and asking them to help me with things that I normally would not have.  I am kind of the type that likes people out of my way so I can just do it quick and the way I like it done.  But in addition to having more time so I don't have to rush, I have more patience and therefore enjoy doing these things with them.  They helped me make a wreath for the kitchen, and sort fabric into bins in the office.

Day 10
Not missing TV at all anymore (and only sweating a tiny bit that two of my favorite shows are starting back up soon.)  Ever since our big trip, it seems as though we haven't really gotten back into our time zone.  I am a night owl, always have been...I mean, I go to bed at 12, 1 and even later.  I have always felt like I needed to squeeze every minute of rest and relaxation after the kids go to bed-how ironic that I found it restful to stay up so late!  I was exhausted in the mornings getting them up for school.  By the second week I realized that before, I would turn on the TV to "unwind" and zone out.  Suddenly, two hours had passed and I felt panicked that I hadn't really done anything or enjoyed my time alone enough so I sit for an hour or more longer.  By doing so, I couldn't even hear my body telling me how tired I was.  Now, the kids go to bed, I do some work around the house or on the computer and by 9:30 I can hear my body, it is tired, it wants to rest!! I am suddenly aware that going to bed when I am actually tired is rewarding!  Without TV, I was being more productive with more important things and feeling accomplished enough to get to bed earlier and have a much more restful, full night of sleep.  (I realize this translates into me officially being "an old fuddy duddy" that is in bed before 10, but let me tell you, if it means better sleep and for longer periods of time, not waking up and having to drag myself out of bed in the morning, I'm all for it!)

Day 13
I don't know about you, but I feel like as a mother, and human being, I am losing my mind.  I always feel like I am in a fog.  This month, I have had more moments of clarity of thought, ideas and understanding than I have in a long time.  It was like the noise in my brain was gone and all that was left were purely original thoughts.  I like it.

Day 15
A noticeable difference in the contention, or lack thereof.  They were more willing to listen when I told them to stop communicating like cave-women, yelling and flailing their arms around.  Talking to each other was getting better.  Heck, simple co-existing was more pleasant.

Day 30
I don't want the month to be over.  Clark and I discuss our new standards for TV watching.  New expectations are set in motion and laid out to the family.  They leave TV on the total and complete sidelines, where it belongs.  Everything in moderation, and this thing, just a little more so.

The beginning of October was coincidentally the most perfect time to "reinstate" our new TV rules.  Watching General Conference together over the weekend was lovely (mostly lovely, and as quiet and productive as it can be when trying to get a family of six to sit quietly for 8 hours total.)  So far we have stuck with our rules and I hope that these changes are permanent.  I don't hate TV.  I don't judge people that watch TV.  I am just glad that I have finally found a happier balance for my family.

Jimmy Jet And His TV Set

by Shel Silverstein

I'll tell you the story of Jimmy Jet --
And you know what I tell you is true.
He loved to watch his TV set
Almost as much as you.

He watched all day, he watched all night
Till he grew pale and lean,
From "The Early Show" to "The Late Late Show"
And all the shows between.

He watched till his eyes were frozen wide,
And his bottom grew into his chair.
And his chin turned into a tuning dial,
And antennae grew out of his hair.

And his brains turned into TV tubes,
And his face to a TV screen.
And two knobs saying "VERT." and "HORIZ."
Grew where his ears had been.

And he grew a plug that looked like a tail
So we plugged in little Jim.
And now instead of him watching TV
We all sit around and watch him.