Parenting epiphony #8,324 (but maybe more like #7, who am I trying to kid?)

Can anyone tell me why in the world I walked by Cybill Shepherd on the street in my dream last night? I barely saw her face because I wasn't actually walking, I was riding a bike but the woman in front of me asked her in passing for her autograph.  Why is Cybill Shepherd in my subconscious? and where has she been the last 10 years?  Not that I'm complaining.  The last good thing she was in was Moonlighting.

Did I tell you I gave in to great pet debate? OK, not really.  Abby somehow convinced me to bring home four (scratch that, three live and one dead) crickets from school following their insect unit.  I tried to tell her that crickets were the kind of thing we kill if we find them in the house but she wouldn't hear of it.  So now we are trying to happily and peacefully coexist with "Rebecca" (Mia's pick), "Angel" (Abby's pick) and "Awkward Silence" (Haley's pick and quite funny I might add.)  I am giving them four more days of survival, tops.

I have had another epiphany in the parenting department that I thought I would share, just in case anyone else out there struggles with the same issues AND to remind myself that when I have teenage daughters that are making me crazy I can think back to simpler times when these were my problems.
We were having an awful after school issue.  Things were working out fine until about a month ago and then suddenly they just weren't.  Cabin fever maybe?  Homework was taking forever, snack was going on forever and there was general feelings of angst (mainly by me.)  In playing chess with my husband last week I was struck with how much I hate playing defense, and chess with my husband.  I am always much happier playing offense and not doing damage control around the house. (I came to this conclusion while losing to my husband in chess for the billionth time, I don't think I have ever beat him except once, by mistake.  But it's OK because I beat him soundly in Mancala every single time we play.  So it feels pretty equal.)  BACK to my point.  I decided that I had majorly fallen behind in the planning ahead department.  Which was evident by the fact that all of our dinners sucked last week.  It was the night that poor husband came home to half a quesadilla and a plastic cup of mandarin oranges on his plate that I rallied myself to do better.  I have now sat and planned my entire month of meals.  So making my grocery list yesterday was a cinch.  And doing the whole month of meals took all of five minutes.  Now I don't have to give it a second thought.  I go look at what we need and bam, it's done.  Seriously off track again, but not really since it all makes me feel snug and in control.  Back to the after school dilemma.  I started by defining the most basic needs for both the group and the individuals.  1)They need a snack when they get home.  Something about school and church has the ability to make one ravenous.  So, instead of sending them into the kitchen to do what they please, I will have snack ready and on the table when they get home.  That way, they can come in, put their stuff up, wash hands and be ready to eat and be finished much more quickly.  I can also have everything else squared away so that I can sit and stare at them with my hands clasped neatly on the table in front of me.  They like when I do that and ask them an endless stream of questions about school that always begins with "How was school?" "Fine."  We go from there.  2) I need to have done Mia's homework with her before the older girls get home.  An advantage of half day kindergarten is that one on one time with Mia who needs the extra attention for her reading and writing. That way I can do number 3) much more easily and that is, send Mia and Hazel to my bed to watch a show (with the door locked to prevent distracted sisters from leaving their own homework).  Get Haley busy doing her work down in the work room where it's quiet at her own desk.  She can mostly do homework by herself but needs my help on occasion with a certain problem or using the computer.  My place however is with Abby where she is sent to do her homework up in her room at her own little desk.  Abby is the queen of being distracted and she has a lot of homework each night.  It takes her forever because she has such a difficult time staying focused.  So, by sending her to her room to do it she is contained in a quiet, calm place and can focus on what she needs to do.  I can sit and read a book while she works but I am there to help her when needed and refocus her if she gets sidetracked.
Yesterday was a world of difference from Monday where I was ready to send them all down the river by dinner time.  The after school routine took one hour instead of three and the chaos was gone.  They finished their homework early enough to play outside and enjoy their day.  This is so important since they spend such a big part of their day sitting in school.  I like for them to be able to run around and do what they want before and after dinner.
Sometimes parenting is such a no brainer but only when I take the time to actually dust off my brain and think about things logically.
Now, I think Hazel and I might don our new bike helmets and do our ride outside today.  My only requirement is going to be a temperature at or above 40 degrees, or 60 degrees, whatever.


 And since I can't stand "a book with no pictures" I went to the oldest file of photos on my computer, 2006 (it's time to burn some photo CD's and clean off my external) to share.