My lovely brother in law called today to offer me a night out by myself -- after unintentionally insulting him at the prospect that someone (namely a woman) put that thought into his head, I enthusiastically accepted. Turns out it really was his genius idea. You see, I decided a couple of days ago that I was going to buy myself a Mother's Day present. Going shopping for a new outfit to wear to "said brother in law's" upcoming wedding seemed the perfect "focus" for my little shopping excursion/night out. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR UPCOMING WEDDING BRO! I AM SO EXCITED! Anyway. This is how the night went down. I took myself to dinner, ate a salad and read my book in blissful peace and quiet. I didn't have to pick any food up off the floor or take anyone to the restroom. Then I took myself to get ice cream. I enjoyed every bite and didn't share a bit. Then I spent three, three hours walking the mall and looking everywhere for anything that I felt remotely like buying. Typically this is not a problem but tonight, with money specifically allocated for this very purpose, I came up with nothing.
But I did come to some specific conclusions.
1. I am sure that prostitution is illegal in Connecticut and yet I now know where they would buy their clothes if it wasn't.
2. I am way out of the fashion loop. I went into a store where I couldn't even tell how to wear the clothes. Is it a dress? a skirt? a shirt? I was too confused to even try anything on.
3. I'm pretty sure there are stores in the mall that card you when you try to enter ensuring that no one born before 1994 shops there.
4. Ann Taylor Loft is a quiet place on a Saturday night in the mall.
5. I am definitely older than I used to be.
However, the night was not a complete loss. I came home with one new bra (actually a depressing activity and not as fun as buying something new should be) and a pork roast for dinner tomorrow.
Shopping just isn't as fun as it used to be...or I've just gotten a lot worse at it.
Sorry Mo, for using the word suck.
15 comments:
So funny...I had a very similar experience today. I wanted a new dress/skirt/some sort of updated church attire to wear for Mother's Day. I managed to get out with just one child, (my constant shopping companion, mainly because she teases her brother relentlessly and said brother happens to be the babysitter.) After wandering aimlessly through the mall, where I surely encountered some of the stores mentioned in your post, I saw some things in a store window that were really quite cute and trendy (as least I'm assuming they were trendy). Then, I looked up and realized I was standing in front of Motherhood Maternity. And, we went home! I did get to treat myself to dinner out though, but I had to share my chips and salsa. And, take someone to the bathroom.
Happy Mother's Day to you! Every time I think about calling you, I realize that you've probably been in bed for hours. I'll figure out the time difference one of these days and give you a ring!
If a sister had been there to make you try things on and then tell you how cute you looked, I'm sure you would not have come home empty handed. But I would have shared your ice cream and made you take me to the restroom, so I suppose it is for the best that I wasn't there.
Nolan is awesome. I've always thought so. Congrats, Nolan!
And Happy Mother's Day, Emily!!
I know just what you mean except I am even older and more fuddy-duddy than you. Is there anyone out there that realizes that women over 50 should not allow their upper arms to show? Who is designing cute trendy clothes for someone my age. Anyone? Anyone? It's okay that you used the "s" word. I understand. Good for Nolly Ray for thinking of you so kindly. He's a good one, he is.
Ooohhhh, lucky! What a great present! I used to hate shopping growing up. It has become an escape now and in the last few months I have actually found myself having fun buying things for me! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you about Diviine ModesTee and Shabby Apple. They are stores out of Utah that specialize in modest but fashionable clothes. I discovered them online recently when I was having the same difficulty you seem to be having. Good luck! Dresses can be fun to find when you have options!
FUNNY. FUNNY. FUNNY.
You have the best way of describing what we all feel. I went into Target a week ago (an hour drive) and inhaled deeply the same familiar, good smell it has and came out with a slip....not my intention, but what I really needed.
I can't tell you the last time I was in a mall (which shows you how good I'm dressing right now). Needless to say, I'm glad you got the night out. You do have an amazing brother-in-law! We all wish we had him.
You'll find something. If I were more confident shopping online (meaning fit and you-get-what-you-see) then I could give you some great websites. I've seen some beautiful stuff out on downeast.com and shabbyapple.com.
Good luck!
I feel the same way but you always manage to look adorable so you're doing something right!
A bra and a potroast.
YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.
I'm so happy someone else feels the same way as me. Every single time I go shopping I quietly say to myself, "I S [insert "s" word] at shopping." Really, I truly believe I'm the worst shopper ever. I've felt your pain. Thanks for the post, I know longer feel so alone.
Hmmm...not sure why I used "know" in that context. Should have been "no"
I'm glad you had the time out. For fun, you should try shopping with a junior sized teenager at the mall. We have to look forever to find something that doesn't scream {any derogatory term for loose women you prefer}.
I think I need particulars about the bra story, I'm sure it will be entertaining.
I'll have to comment in reverse tonight.
I have never thought about it before, but I agree about women and submarines.
Your girls are so adorable. Can you imagine four boys doing that? I think not. Okay, that is giving boys a bad wrap and I am sure they could do a good job, they just wouldn't be as cute doing it.
And shopping...I haven't really got up the courage to do real shopping since I have had the baby. Trust me, I could use a few duds, but I hate taking the baby fat shopping. Oh, and the styles now days are a bit confusing. Sometimes I wonder if they expect anyone to actually wear the clothes they sell. They must right?
Your funniest post ever!!!
Loved it!
Post a Comment