Thursday, July 19, 2007

Oh Crap!

I don't know how many of you are up to speed on your Utah local news but a few weeks ago an 11 year old boy was dragged from his tent by a bear, up in American Fork Canyon. That, coupled with some other close to home bear stories had my brain hopped up on "bear scare" during our very recent trip to Utah. So, when this appeared in my Mom's back yard, I grew concerned...

...concerned because it looked like bear poop, not because my hand is very close to it (that was to show its relative size).
Why bear poop speculation, you ask? This was my thought process.


1) There is a drought in Utah right now so bears, among many other species, are traveling farther and farther down the mountains in search of food and water...and it just so happens that my Mom and Dad have some delicious looking berry bushes along their house.
2) It's too big to be domestic and the wrong shape I might add. Dogs and cats are out. So are deer or any member of the deer family because I happen to know that they poop in pellets...so obvious.
3) My parents house is perched right along the "something canyon" (I can't remember the name) It crosses one street but otherwise comes straight down from the mountains.
4) Bears!
That really sums up what I know about animal poop.

So the kids stayed inside for a day or two until we got a hold of the Utah Animal Wildlife Association, or something like that. They sent a tech out right away. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang and I answered to a dashing young man in khaki. I threw on the pair of flip flops by the door that best matched my sweatpants and grungy t shirt (I was on vacation, remember?) and led him around back where I was sure he was going to thank me profusely for saving thousands of innocent lives from this wild animal unleashed on Suburban Utah.
The first words out of his mouth were, "It's not bear poop"...I tried my best to sound "educated" in the ways of fecal matter (I do have three kids, mind you) and called it "bear skat" instead of poop. He couldn't tell me what it was though he assured me it was not bear or mountain lion. I then stood there and tried to remain composed and look interested as he slipped on his pair of rubber gloves and began breaking the "skat" up in his hands. You see, bear skat comes out twisty, usually full of berries or hair and is typically tapered at the ends. Do you see my dilemma? Handsome young man, rubber gloves, touching poop and talking about it in great detail? I was confused but tried my best to look interested and engaged.
"I see", I said.
And then he sealed it up in a baggie and took the poop away...he never did make a guess at what it was.
Perhaps it was a moose...

14 comments:

Meg said...

Maybe it was a baby elephant. Did they have an escapee from the zoo? Although, I think moose is a good guess, but does that come out in pellet form also? One would like to know if your situation.

Jean Knee said...

dang you're lucky. no one ever comes out to look at my poop, rubber gloved or "bear" handed

Lucky Mommy said...

How would you craft a Google search to find your answer? Is the word poop or skat more technical? Last week we had a poop incident - baby sucking on a "soiled" wipe. I called the doctor because I didn't want to pull up a bunch of obscene websites if I did a search for "child ingests poop." Glad you didn't have to be scared too long!

Oscarson Photography said...

so wait... what was it!?!

Sadie Lou said...

that poop was ginormous! and he touched it. maybe mia had an accident?!lol

elasticwaistbandlady said...

From the dark brown hue, I surmise that whatever it is has a diet rich in fiber and protein.

Is this going in your Poop Chronicles book series, emma?

Jangs said...

Hey now we know. Moose is a good idea. At least they don't eat you but they are not really very nice either. But we do know that handsome men have bear skat duty in Utah. Nice to know since I live here.

Sunnie said...

i for one am completely terrified of bears. and what a job- the poop inspector. not my idea of fun summer employment.

SP said...

I think it was a dear with diarea.

Sarah said...

My guess is big foot.

mo said...

Well, in the meantime, the poop is gone, everyone has gone home, and I am left here alone with another mystery. Could there be some possible connection to the missing candy and this mystery skat? Did the pooper snooper find any candy wrappers when he was handling the stuff? Should I be worried that we still don't know what kind of animal is hanging around just outside my bedroom door at night? If I weren't so busy right now I would be worried.

Unknown said...

oh, my gosh, that was a good story. at first i thought you were worried that the boy who dissappeared was digested and that you were going to try to dispose of him appropriately.

But the awkwardness of said hansome man handling poop was captured quite well.

i'm still laughing, in fact.

xox
B

Suzie Petunia said...

laughing, laughing, laughing while I should be sleeping, sleeping, sleeping! Ironically I'm typing this from Mo's computer and looking out at the back yard where your "skat with handsome ranger" experience occurred. Actually, it is dark so I can't see anything out there. Hope there isn't a bear!! What are the odds, huh? We saw the exact same kind of skat on a hike with dad on his favorite trail. So, what IS it anyway? Should I google skat? And if the guy was such an "expert"... why couldn't he tell you what kind of animal made it?

Kristin said...

I have an extreme bear phobia, so i am glad I wasn't there. You're brave. :)