So I decided a couple of days ago that this whole Earthly experience is measured all wrong. It would be so much easier if everything was on the point system. For instance, reach 1,000,000 points and you get to move on and be exalted. We could have a built in ticker (right next to the spigot that drains liquified fat and the zipper where babies come out) that tells us precisely how many points we have at any given time. Points can be awarded and taken away. Say, help an old person across the street or bake a casserole, 100 points. Yell at your innocent child out of impatience, -45 points. Yell at a child who is intentionally testing you, -25 points (it has to be fair, right?)
So, who's with me?
Then again...maybe that is how it has worked all along...
14 comments:
However it works, I'm glad we don't get to decide just how many points we lose or gain--I have a feeling we would all be especially hard on ourselves. I would like to put in an order for a baby-birthing-zipper though. Does it come in red?
I like it. I tend to be an overachiever when someone is keeping track. I lose my focus on the vaguey things. So how many points do I get for having my visiting teaching done this month?
This is very intersting. I like what Mo said (Can I call her that? It seems so familiar, and I really...not.) I, too, am an over achiever when someone is keeping track. In school I loved watching my "points" raise. What's funny (in a sad sort of way, not the hah, hah sort of way) is that someone IS watching and keeping score. Why don't I seem feel the same urgency as I know I would if I had a built in ticker?
Nice thought-- it wouldn't work for me though. As soon as I know that there is a score being kept, I rebel. I think it would earn me a one way ticket to the warm place!
HOLY CRAP I am glad that it doesn't work this way. I am afraid that so many people already think that it does. That is why they just quit trying to be good. They listen to those "the gospel is like basketball" talks and believe them because they figure that they are just too many points behind. Life shouldn't be about winners and losers, but then, I am just a subjective humanist. I never had much use for measurable quantitative human values. Just the ones you can't put a number on.
Amen, Mike--should I start calling myself a subjective humnist? I like the sound of that.
You are all way too smart for me...I can't even think of anything clever to say. -100 points for me....I just enjoy reading what you all have to say. And can I take a moment here to say that I love keeping in touch with you guys. I didn't realize how much I talked to my cute Mom, because now I am always keeping track of you guys, and trying to have something interesting to talk about....
Now I just sound like a lonely stalker...sorry. I will stop typing right now...I mean now...okay, I'm going...
No...200 points to all of you for leaving a comment. I have now taken it upon myself to award these life points to people...hopefully this complex won't last long...its exhausting to judge people.
Uh, I think you found your sense of humor. (Do I get another 100 points for another comment?)
I once blogged about wearing a Pedometer to count the number of pedos one releases in a day. Those points have tallied much higher than my 'Be Kind To Others' and 'Don't Get Sarcastic With The Kids,' points.
Oh well. Maybe I'll bring you over some brownies. Together we can increase our life score with copious 'brownie points.'
I want 100 points. This system could work. We should do some socialogical experimentation and come up with the best options.
what do I get if I try to do something tomorrow real quick and call it visiting teaching? would that be fewer points than your mo?
Didn't do my visiting teaching: -100 points.
Gave birth: +1,000,000 points.
Thanks for helping me keep it all in perspective, Em. :)
Casseroles and birthing zippers...love it.
Interesting idea. However, I fear that I am collecting too many negative points lately. I'll never be translated at this rate!!
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