So. I have a sister that lives about 40 minutes from me. We are both in the stage of pregnancy that most books and journals call "the awkward oafish stage". The other night we decided that we both desperately needed a very large Cold Stone Ice Cream. "Let's take the Jeep" says I. "OK" says oaf #2. Let me set the scene. Two very pregnant sisters (who look a little freakishly like twins) are going to "hop" into the Jeep Wrangler and take themselves for ice cream. Oh, years ago we would have been hot stuff. Two blonds who look like twins cruisin the night through a college town, headed out for somethin' cold. The reality of the situation set in before the motor even started. Abby couldn't get in the car. The Jeep actually has doors but it is still quite a hike to climb in. Since we were in an empty apartment parking lot we got each other in with some immodest difficulty. We realized what a mistake our choice of transportation was about 1/4 mile down the road. With every bump we were wincing, holding our bellies and clinching our thighs to prevent birth in an open deathtrap. We arrived at our destination and tried to avoid the stares of the pregnant "yetties" ordering very large helpings of ice cream with multiple mix ins. Getting back into the Jeep was the best though. I am picking on my little sister only because she is younger, prettier, usually skinnier, and currently bigger (she is seven weeks ahead of me). The eyes at the establishment followed us to our hip vehicle and watched as Abby decided she was going to leap into the car in a single bound. Anyone that wasn't already looking did so at my loud gafaw that escaped when her single leap simply bumped her awkwardly into the side of the car. I laughed half the way home because I was depressed at how UNCOOL we have become. The only hopes that anyone could ever possibly find us attractive in any way would be the single thought..."hey, those chics put-out".
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Just plain uncoolness...
So. I have a sister that lives about 40 minutes from me. We are both in the stage of pregnancy that most books and journals call "the awkward oafish stage". The other night we decided that we both desperately needed a very large Cold Stone Ice Cream. "Let's take the Jeep" says I. "OK" says oaf #2. Let me set the scene. Two very pregnant sisters (who look a little freakishly like twins) are going to "hop" into the Jeep Wrangler and take themselves for ice cream. Oh, years ago we would have been hot stuff. Two blonds who look like twins cruisin the night through a college town, headed out for somethin' cold. The reality of the situation set in before the motor even started. Abby couldn't get in the car. The Jeep actually has doors but it is still quite a hike to climb in. Since we were in an empty apartment parking lot we got each other in with some immodest difficulty. We realized what a mistake our choice of transportation was about 1/4 mile down the road. With every bump we were wincing, holding our bellies and clinching our thighs to prevent birth in an open deathtrap. We arrived at our destination and tried to avoid the stares of the pregnant "yetties" ordering very large helpings of ice cream with multiple mix ins. Getting back into the Jeep was the best though. I am picking on my little sister only because she is younger, prettier, usually skinnier, and currently bigger (she is seven weeks ahead of me). The eyes at the establishment followed us to our hip vehicle and watched as Abby decided she was going to leap into the car in a single bound. Anyone that wasn't already looking did so at my loud gafaw that escaped when her single leap simply bumped her awkwardly into the side of the car. I laughed half the way home because I was depressed at how UNCOOL we have become. The only hopes that anyone could ever possibly find us attractive in any way would be the single thought..."hey, those chics put-out".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Maybe YOU put out...this is only my first. I thought I was quite graceful and agile myself...in an oafish, balene whale sort of way. Man, but that ice cream was good. You forgot to mention that mine was gone by the time we arrived back home--a five minute drive, with no other stops...and it was a LARGE!
Pictures, please. I'm having a difficult time imagining this. But, man!... can you girls put out!!!
(I don't know...it just doesn't sound right...)
laughing at my pregnant sisters holding large ice creams and "jumping" into that car makes me laugh. thinking of my pregnant sisters "putting out" in any form is a bit too much. i do have an appetite to consider here. im proud of you both for taking the ice cream challenge head on though. way to hang in there.
Would it help if I got you guys one of those leg lifter things? Abby can you use your platinum reacher to lift yourself into a car? I love trying to imagine this scene. The depressing thing about it is that I still weigh more than both of you. On that happy note!.....
This is one of the funniest blogs I have ever read...maybe because I am sitting here next to the balene whale (aka oaf #2) and I can just see it all so clearly. I am truly laughing out loud.
NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST!
Thanks for the new picture (it is AWESOME!), but don't even think that counts as a NEW POST!
That was the funniest blog ever! I made Chris get off the treadmill before I read it to him though...I love how truly satisfying ice-cream is when I am pregnant. You two are still so darling...and I still weigh more than both of you...possibly put together! Pass the ice-cream.
Post a Comment