Up to speed and on with life.

My life really feels like very distinct chapters.  Sometimes when I think back to ten years ago, it might as well be someone else's life completely.  The lifestyle was so different, the family dynamic so different, WE were different.  

It's hard to list off what I consider family "traditions".  Traditions are so important to a family unit, to establishing expectations, growth, creating unifying memories together and creating a sense of identity for us as a family and as individuals.  I know we have traditions, but I always wish we had more.  More things that connected that "us" from a long time ago to the "us" now.  I think ultimately thats what I'm getting at here...I don't want those memories to feel so far away.

We have had good times.

This year I was trying to cut back on some of the expenses that have gotten quite large as more people have appeared on the scene and as those people have also gotten bigger with more expensive needs and tastes.  So instead of buying ornaments for the kids this year we made them.  The kids drew names and they made ornaments for each other.  It was a fun family activity.  It's a challenge to find activities that we can all do and enjoy together.  Five to nineteen is quite the spread in ages so when it happens I remember it.

Something that definitely makes me sad is the loss of some of my own family's traditions, things that I loved from growing up that made me feel a part of something and added to my identity.  I don't want to be the generation that breaks these traditions because it is one more step removed from first hand knowledge.  So many of our traditions growing up, particularly around Christmas, were Swedish.  And while Aunt Linda did an amazing job teaching us kids the phonetic pronunciation of the Lucia songs when I was little, there is so much other stuff that I just don't know well enough to pass on.

Unfortunately, even if I did know some of it better, my kids would still not sing and bring breakfast in bed on December 13th.  The best I could get was Haley wearing the sash and crown for a little while.  In their defense, the dresses are all a tad too small...and they don't know how to make a good cinnamon roll.

What, you don't find birds randomly sitting around your house?  They are adorable and sweet until I find bird poop and then I have to yell at someone for how disgusting their birds are.  Also, several months in and the bird dog has not eaten them.  He is actually a little scared of them so, that's a plus.

Despite having a beautiful roomy house that I love, there is a tragic lack of secret hiding spots.  And when you are a type A personality that likes to keep things together and organized, you improvise.  I don't take a lot of baths but I realized that a month and a half around the holidays is too long to go without a nice hot soak in the tub.  Do you think anyone peeked?  I kind of like to build the anticipation for Christmas, make them hurt just a little.

Once again the Larsons accepted our invitation (begging) to come be with us as the last minute for Thanksgiving.  Everything, it seems, has been last minute this year.  And that's OK.  We often didn't know what was going on from one day to the next but it was good that way too.

In fact, I both love and despise these friends because they are solely responsible for Clark's new "hobby" which I'm hoping is more of a phase...(same deer, see the horns? You don't? That's because there's only one.)

Quarantine has been a little bit of a dream come true for me.  You see, as a mother of teenagers I have had to do some major adjustments to be OK with the fact that they like to hang out with friends and go and do stuff.  I, like them here, with me, trapped at home, with nothing to do but bake together, dance around singing, snuggling on the couch with popcorn and a good movie or sitting and staring at each other.  OK, we don't really do all that stuff together as often as I would like.  That's what it looks like in my head and therefore that's what I mourn.  So we struck a deal that they had to give us at least a couple of days during the Christmas break that was family only.  BE WITH US!  And they did.  And I loved it.

 

Christmas was good.  It wasn't anything out of the ordinary or a year to remember with anything big, but it was exactly what I love about it.  It was us and it was good fun.

And it all ended with the most anti-climatic New Years there ever was.  That's not entirely true, we DID stay up until midnight and I DID make super amazing awesome crowns out of brown paper.  We even got out the leftover crepe paper in my office and threw it around like confetti.  We stopped our show two minutes before midnight to watch the most awful, pathetic New Years Eve on Times Square there ever was (think the worst of 2020 in one place-bad politicians, drunk celebrities spouting opinions, the elect elite standing around in inflatable "corrals" on the street, no happy noise and celebrating, no kissing at midnight, weird sparkly masks.)

Anyway, the point is, we had far more fun in our little family room with the people that were there.

I didn't even hate 2020.  It was good and bad like every year.  We grow a little and learn a lot.  I still believe in God.  I love my family more than ever.  I feel like that's a pretty good place to start a new year.

Fall was full-ish

OK, things are a little out of order here and all over the place but such was 2020.

Clark has a talent for finding hobbies that I don't particularly like.  Someday perhaps he will find joy in scrapbooking? Or at least something more productive and helpful like woodworking.  One can dream.  In any case he shot his first deer and was really really excited about it.  We only teased him a little bit about the fact that it only had one antler.  Abby helped him skin the deer and process the meat and we have been eating it ever since.  I am undecided about venison though leaning towards "I prefer normal meats".

My Mom Bubble in the backyard hasn't gotten much use as of late because I really hate being cold.  But I look at it longingly from time to time and remember that happy moment when it was warm enough to be out there and cool enough to not be carried off by mosquitos.

We did our best to pretend like everything was normal and did a drive-by to "meet" teachers....meaning Jonah's teacher.  Everyone else is too old for such things.  I think that there could be a lot of positive things that come out of this whole experience, one being the realization that we do a lot of things out of habit that just aren't necessary - like in person meetings and open houses.  Are they helpful? Sometimes.  Are they necessary?  Not really.  In any situation it's in the actual doing that we figure things out most effectively anyway.  We figured it was important to introduce "little brother" as well since he is bound to be seen bopping around in the background from time to time.

Mia was shortchanged on her field hockey season (as was poor Hazel who had just made the middle school team just the week before everything went on lockdown last Spring.) Mia was able to join a summer/fall league for the extra practice.  It's been disappointing to see how uncommitted the rest of her team was to making it a useful time - they never practiced together, not once.  So while she enjoyed having the opportunity to play games once a week, most of her practices were with sisters or a single friend or maybe two that would meet up at the school to play during the week.

School started.  I feel like my kids have done an amazing job at rolling with the punches this year.  It hasn't been easy or pleasant but they have adapted as well as anyone could expect.  It's taken time to figure things out and know how best to do stuff but overall I think we have done fairly well.

In September Jonah started 3rd (which I always forget...I literally have to count from his birthday to know what grade he is in for some reason), Hazel is in 7th, Mia in 10th and Abby is experiencing a truly unique Senior year.

We started out with a pretty little school set up in the piano room.  I felt like it was important for them to have a space designated for school to help keep them focused as well as being able to better compartmentalize "school" and "home".  Hazel, Abby and Mia have no appreciation for their adorable and potentially organized school spaces.  Jonah has no choice since his computer can't be moved around.  Most days I have to wander into their room at least once to tell them to turn on the lights and look alive.

Ironically enough though, his "space" has changed twice since school started.  He can't really be on headphones because I need to be able to hear what is going on and what he is supposed to be doing, which was distracting to the girls.  So I reluctantly moved him into the corner of my bedroom which also proved to be an inconvenient place....particularly in October when the family came down with COVID and Clark and I were sleeping 6 hours a day.

Before: when things were tidy and in place and attitudes were still "ooh this could be fun..."

NOW:

Messier, a little less enthusiastic...somedays barely hanging on.  And rarely sitting at their nice little desks anymore.  Except Jonah, he is always stuck to his desk which is now back in my office where he is out of everyones way yet still close by.

 I'm not sure what is worth mentioning about the whole COVID thing except that we had it.  With so much of the year revolving around this pandemic, it felt kind of like "we got it! we won!" and then, oh dang.  Clark, Haley, Abby, Mia and myself all tested positive (Hazel had symptoms but was never tested.) We all quarantined for two full weeks and have made a full recovery, I think.  My taste and smell is not quite normal but close enough to not be bothered by it.  The girls were never very sick and it was short lived.  Clark and I had every symptom on the list, but by far the worst was the fatigue (and the loss of smell/taste.) The fatigue was insane.

But we got better.  We have spent lots of days at the farm.  It's been a nice place to get away when there is not a lot of other stuff to do.  

Then in November Abby and Mia got to go back to school.  We chose the "in school option" for those two while we opted to keep Jonah and Hazel virtual throughout.  I figured consistency for Jonah was the best, not to mention I couldn't stand the thought of him being told to "stop doing" things all day long on top of normal school rules.  And Hazel likes being in charge of her own stuff.  Even the "in school" option is only two days a week at the school for them and while it doesn't feel normal, they enjoy being able to go.

Honestly I can't even remember when we did the adventure park but I think it was early October?  It was a fun end of summer type of celebration.  I wish activities like this weren't so crazy expensive, especially for a family our size.  Because we had a lot of fun and a good time was had by all.  Even Abby who is terrified of heights.

We have been super lucky to have such good friends that are so willing to come see us.  The Larsons have been our family and friends this year.  We mostly just play and eat and hang out.  But they also get us out of the house.  We were able to go on a bike ride down by the water.  We were a bike gang and even though it rained on us it was nice to know we can pull off an activity like that.

Then we had Halloween.  The day of Halloween was actually supposed to be our very last day of the 14 day quarantine.  We tried to make it fun, I promised them a party.  I'm not sure if I delivered to their liking but I enjoyed myself.

Costumes were mandatory for the family party.  We ate mummy dogs and chili and a piece of candy or two.  One of the perks of COVID was a total loss of appetite.  Clark and I lost weight and food just didn't sound exciting, or necessary for a good month or two.  We wrapped up mummies in crepe paper, played Halloween bingo and finished the night off by watching the new Witches movie.

The day after was voting day.  It felt very strange to be out in the big wide world after a strict 2 weeks at home.  People were so kind and generous with meals and treats.  I even had our groceries delivered to our porch.  But then the next day we stood in line for an hour to cast our votes and get a sticker.  It was a big election for Haley who got to be an adult and make her voice count.

 

Goodbye summer and a few birthdays...

So we had the rest of summer, then there was fall, and now we are enjoying the frigid temperatures of winter.  Just kidding, it was like 70 degrees earlier this week.  This time of year we see the most schizophrenic weather of the east coast - the coastal plains of Virginia can't ever quite make up their mind as to whether they are the northeast or the south.  Sometimes our temps fluctuate a good 30 degrees from night to day.  Today, it's frigid.

But we did do things every once in a while during the summer.  It is a rare day when everyone is home and we can do an activity together.  In fact, having said that I think we may have been missing someone on this hike.  And I use the term "hike" loosely as around here, you're lucky to find a hill that isn't a highway overpass.

I often daydream of other places and times...places we have lived with endless exploring and activities within a short drive, and kids that were small enough to buy into my enthusiasm to get out of the house.

Also, I don't have that much enthusiasm to get out of the house these days.

There aren't a ton of hikes nearby so we usually end up at the lake that has a nice walking path around it.  On this particular day it was hotter than Hades so we sweated a lot and I was on my "A" game of making it fun for the boys to make it all 1.5 miles around the lake.  They have 1/4 mile markers all the way around (they have to hit the top of each one for a "power up") and then they stop at each exercise station for "extra points"...points that had to add up to 100 by the time we made it all the way around.  I can't remember if the points led to anything other than distracted little boys that didn't complain, too much.

We have had a main floor master bedroom in several of our homes over the years.  I have to say, right now at this stage in life, it's not my favorite.  It is right off the family room and kitchen which means it is pretty much international waters, open to the masses, coming and going at will.  "Our" bathroom is "their" bathroom and I regularly find crumbs in my bed from kids that don't get their way with the tv in the family room.  Our carpet is trashed, our bathroom is always a mess with other peoples things, my makeup and hair stuff is communal and there is are piles of discarded things on my dresser.  But the one plus side is that we are far from kid rooms, which means we have easily convinced little boys that coming all the way down the stairs and across the scary dark family room is not worth it when they have so many sisters upstairs...I try to feel bad for the girls when they complain about little boys climbing into their beds in the middle of the night.  Here's a little secret, I don't feel that bad about it.  It's even kind of sweet.

Then we had our annual mess of birthdays, some of which were documented before I broke up with social media.

We have birthdays that start in the spring and trickle through the summer but the end of August/beginning of September is the dump of 4 within two weeks and one more straggler in November.

Haley is 19...one more year to not feel totally freaked out that she is really and truly grown.  I wonder how many years she will still curl up in our laps.  I'm even sitting in the recliner that we bought when she was born.  I have rocked and nursed all six of my babies in this chair.  I think this year will be one to get rid of a lot of things that we just don't have room for anymore, this chair being one of them.  Kids are next ;) 

Unfortunately for Mia I didn't have any other birthday pictures of her on my phone so this is what she gets.  She has been asking for some time to see an orthodontist and since she was next in line, wish granted.  I'm pretty sure we did actual fun birthday things for her like getting nails done and eating some kind of dessert but that was like three whole months ago and how am I supposed to remember everything?

Then Clark had a birthday and we were all tired of cake and ice cream.  He is an easy one to celebrate too.  We like him.  It's weird that I have a crush on someone in their 40's.  But speaking of forgetting things, apparently I didn't take any pictures of my birthday either which happened before Haley's.  It must've been wild because I honestly can't remember what we did.

I will fill in what happened between September and November if anything, later.  Because no one would want to forget celebrating this little guy.  Ezra is the perfect little caboose.  Right now everyone still thinks he is funny and adorable which is nice because someday they will just think he is gross and annoying.  One of my favorite traditions is watching a birthday slideshow.  Some of the kids' videos were pretty old so since I had nothing else to do this year, I did updated slideshows for each and every birthday.  I adore these videos and I am grateful for an excuse to sit and openly weep at how precious and amazing my kids are to me.  Plus, memories and photos are always better when put to happy music.

I am not much of a baker and definitely lack talent in the cake department...plus no one in my family really eats cake much so we usually opt for outside-the-box birthday treats.  But 2020 had me feelings bored and ambitious (mostly bored) so Hazel helped me attempt something special per his request for sharks.  It turned out somewhere between Pinterest and fail.  In any case the sharks were pretty scary looking and there were donuts and Oreos to make up for the cake itself.

Next up, fall? I think?

A New Normal?

There are a lot of people that hate the term "new normal" but really isn't that just what life is?  It's always changing and evolving and becoming something a little different than it was before.  And as it turns out, life can be as busy during a pandemic as it was before, go figure.  Or maybe it's just that I got used to having no obligations at all and now that I have some, I feel stretched...I really loved months of an empty calendar and now things are hopping and moving, albeit a little different than before.  It's been so long now that I really don't remember how things were different before, except that when you go in public everyone is wearing a mask and that feels uncomfortable and certainly strange.  Clark and I also went out to eat last week, like in an actual restaurant to sit and order and eat our food and everything.  It started with having our temperatures taken and then wearing a mask for 30 seconds between the door and our table.  I find myself saying "this is just weird" at least three or four times a day but whatever, I'm over it.  I need to find new things to distract me.  Definitely not social media, it's still a hot mess of opinions and passions that are all over the place.  I generally avoid most of it still. *see previous post ;)  In other news, my Hay Day Farm is thriving...

The birds came home and are doing well.  Luna and Percy have continued to plump up, have started making pleasant bird noises and have not been eaten by the dog.  Seems like a win win for everyone.

We continue to do little projects here and there although things have slowed considerable as we run out of the funds to do things and the weather has reached that oppressively hot state that makes me want to cry, which I can do openly because chances are I am sweating too and you wouldn't even be able to tell.

Clark and the girls built a firepit, a real one where the bottom won't rust out after a few months.  They wrote notes on the bricks and then we sealed it all up good and tight.  And when I say "we" I mean "they" because I sat and watched them do the whole thing.  We have already enjoyed many a s'more over its open flame.

Then we literally had a truckload of mulch and soil dropped on the driveway, an event that both excited me and had me in dread.  You see, last fall I scored us a truckload of mulch that was completely and totally free, annnnnnd took us approximately four months to get rid of.  I was bound and determined that this mulch would not sit on the driveway through the weekend.  By golly we spread that stuff like champs hither and yon.  Our flower beds look beautiful, or at least they did last month before the heat really descended and put us all into a permanent state of wilt and thirst.  Our lawn is downright crispy right now and the neighbors pool feel like bathwater.  The only respite is under a fan, inside and away from the light of day.  Which is unfortunate because we are getting rather bored of being inside.

And then Jonah had a birthday and we did something scandalous and had friends over to help celebrate.  It was nice to hang out with people again, we rather enjoyed it.

And just look at how cute this boy is.  He turned 8, which is a big one for reasons I will get to in a minute.

The vegetable plants in the garden started to produce and now won't stop.  Mainly the tomatoes.  Here is the cycle I go through with tomatoes.  I feel eh about them because they are just kinda eh.  Then I taste a homegrown tomato from the garden and remember how much I love and absolutely adore them.  Then I eat so many that they become eh again...as evidence in the bowl on the counter that eternally displays tomatoes of all colors and sizes.  The yellow pear has been especially fruitful this summer.  Someone needs to tell it to chill out and pace itself just a little.  Our cilantro, parsley, green onions and romaine petered out but the basil and tomatoes are going strong.  We have had a few zucchini and some lovely butternut squash growing.  The cucumbers are struggling to look acceptable to consume and the dill got so crazy I had to show it who's boss.

One of the projects that finally got done was the bridge.  There are ditches between all the houses on the street and since we frequent the neighbors on either side we had to create a more convenient path, so we don't have to walk all the way around the ditch (you know, a whole 50 extra feet.) The ditch on this side is a bit more conducive to a fun bridge so several years ago the girls found a huge pallet that conveniently fit the gap.  But it had become significantly treacherous to cross so it was time to bring in the ocean engineer.  I just happen to have connections.  He drew up the plans and Abby and Hazel executed.

At the beginning of July we had the loveliest visitors.  The Davis' came and brought their adorable baby.  We miss Sadie and Jesse and are sad that we live so far away.  Dawson is just about the cutest thing ever and reminded us about all the things we love about tiny people.  Rocket especially loved helping Dawson eat his meals.  He was very diligent.  I only felt bad that it was so hot and theres this whole pandemic thing going on because we really didn't do much but hang out.  We still had a blast having them here and we did get to the farm and the beach, so thats a plus.

I feel like there are decisions to be made as a parent all day, every day.  Every moment a teaching moment right? My teenagers kind of hate when you make that obvious.  It's really hard sometimes to let them help when you know it can be done faster and better without them.  But I try really hard to recognize those opportunities, especially when the kids are the ones to offer.  Hazel loves to be in the kitchen and cook and I need to let her more often.  On this particular day Jonah was asking to play the computer and I had told him "not until I was finished folding their clothes" so he left the room.  But then he came back just a minute later, recognizing that if I finished faster, he would get to play sooner so he asked if he could help.  It was so sweet and I am glad that I saw the opportunity for him to help and acted on it.  I'm not always on my parenting A game so it's validating to get it right every once in a while.

Now is the part where we do something amazing and meaningful...a little out of order.  But all this happened from mid June to mid July so it's fine, it's fine, it's all fine.

Jonah turned 8 and got to get baptized.  It looked different from the girls but was special and sweet all its own.  I took Jonah out for approximately 23 minutes to take pictures because we were sweating so bad I as drenched.  Also he is cute and handsome and it was easy to get some good ones.

Grandma and Grandpa came into town the day after Sadie and Jesse left.  It would've been fun to have them here at the same time but someone had to watch the dog in Texas ;)

The baptism was small, only our family, Grandma and Grandpa, a member of the bishopric and a friend that helped fill the font and set up.  The most special things were that more were able to join by Zoom than would've otherwise been able to be there for it, two of his sisters gave the talks and the other two sisters got to be witnesses for the ordinance.  It was small and sweet and beautiful.

Grandma made the cake and Hazel helped with the topper....Jonah requested a cake with a Dad baptizing a son on top.  We aim to please.

Kids are weird.  We eat a lot of Chick Fil A.  And that's that.

This also may be the sign that we SHOULD be trying to get back to church sooner.  I have loved church at home, grateful to have the sacrament and make our home a sacred place buuuuut we have perhaps gotten a little casual in our family room/sacrament meeting attendance.  On this particular day we had to do "church" a little later and everyone was groaning about changing into Sunday clothes so they all went to my closet and outfitted themselves as lazily as possible.  I can't even imagine the struggle of getting dressed for church for real, let alone having to sit with the boys in an actual chapel with other people in attendance.  It's going to be rough.